About Us

Our family of 6 (dad Adam, mom Sherry, big sister Abby and little brothers Isaac and Brady -- who was born on December 14, 2010) joined the ranks of pediatric cancer fighters when our 4-year old son Logan was diagnosed with a dangerous and highly malignant form of brain cancer in mid-August 2010. Logan's cancer journey began abruptly on Sunday, August 15, when his right eye suddenly turned inward during dinner. Twenty-four hours later, we were checking into Children's Hospital Oakland and finding out that life sometimes takes you places you'd never, ever imagine yourself going.

Monday, November 29, 2010

That Lost Sheep

I've been wanting to touch on this subject for some time now, but hadn't felt the inspiration needed to really get 'er done, so to speak. But now that we're a mere 36 hours or so from starting cycle #4, undeniably the beginning of the truly tough meat of Logan's treatment protocol, it feels like 'the time'.

The Parable of the Lost Sheep was clearly intended to be an important one, as more than one Gospel relays the tale told by Jesus. In a nutshell, a shepherd misplaces a single sheep from his flock, and spends countless hours searching for that one fluffly little absentee until his efforts are rewarded.

Typically, that tale is used to convey God's love for His children; the notion that He'll search high and low for one single lost soul, never ceasing until He's able to welcome him or her back into His flock. And I agree: That's what it means.

However, and forgive me for taking liberties with the scriptures, I'd also argue that for me and for others in my position, it takes on an all new and important meaning.

I've had more than a few undoubtedly well-meaning folks say to me something along these lines. Some of you will find the sentiment shocking and appalling, while others will quietly acquiesce that you've had similar unspoken ruminations while reading about our journey:

It's such a shame that all of this is happening to your family. But remember that no matter what happens to Logan, you still have two beautiful children and one on the way.

I was beyond shocked the first time someone uttered those words in my direction. But I chalked it up to said person simply not knowing what to say, and after my heart wept a little, I let it go. When I heard similiar words a second time, I decided I needed to write an entry like this. The third time, which came very recently, I knew I had to share my thoughts, and sooner than later.

To put it simply, Logan is my little lost sheep. He's not a disposable object that can be replaced, or whose absence could ever be mitigated by the presence of another. In fact, he's a brighter light in this dark world than many, many others combined. He's well-worth being sought after, saved and redeemed.

So as his mother, I'm going to make sure that I keep my prayer warrior troops rallied, with the hope and faith that at the end of this journey, Logan will be 'found', restored to complete health, and returned to our little family 'flock'.

12 comments:

  1. Wow. I'm hoping that people just really don't know what to say and so something tactless and stupid comes out, but it doesn't make it any better. I'm glad you're saying something.

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  2. Amen sister! Your family is now six people, and I pray that will continue to be so! I've learned to love Logan so much through praying for you guys. Thank you for extending his light to all who read this. Love you guys. And I check this page multiple times a day so I'm glad for the update. Praying for the next cycle!

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  3. Im sorry. Im sure they didnt mean it that way, but ofcourse time after time must really get to you. :( Logan cannot be replaced, and Im praying for him daily!

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  4. Amen!!I will continue to pray for complete healing for Logan as he enters his next phase of chemo. Many blessings to your entire family.

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  5. People who don't know what to say, do well not to say anything at all!! If only that were the case. I love your use of scripture to teach this truth. I think it also helps us catch a glimpse of the deep deep love of God as our parent. The one who teaches that there is but one right view of any one Scripture is missing out on the beauty and diversity of God. It is refreshing to see such "liberties" applied lovingly to the story of unconditional love. -Kate Freeman

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  6. Ugh. Feel free to direct such people to me. I'll set them straight!!!

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  7. That was a beautiful post Sherry. Well done! I think about Psalm 139 as well. God made us each unique and special. I told Hannah the other day that there was no one like her now, in the future or ever before. Logan is special. No one can take the place of little Logan; ever.

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  8. People can say some really stupid things in situations like this. I know I've been guilty of saying stupid things to people when I just don't know what else to say, but I imagine how deeply those words must cut and I'm so sorry that you have to hear them repeatedly.

    We will continue to pray that Logan is "found" and restored to comlete health. (((hugs)))

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  9. I am a recent reader. I have also heard the most inappropriate things after my son passed. And at first, you do allow people to say things like this. I never corrected anyone's "good intended" words of comfort. Good for you for saying something. All of our children are important to us. Don't discount any of them.

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  10. This post hit me especially hard, as I've come to love the fact that we Christians believe that we are all made in God's image (Gen. 9:6). As such, we are all worth saving, since each of us reflects God's awesome character and beauty. Thanks for having the courage to share your frustrations and faith with us all. Continually in prayer for you, Bruce Jamieson

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  11. Wow, that is actually really surprising to me! I didn't think anything could shock me, but that really does!! (In my head I'm thinking it had to be people who don't have children, because any mother or father would never utter or think such words!) But I realize sometimes the things people say at hard times come out of their mouthes without really having the meaning attached, or it comes out wrong sounding awkward and not how they intended. In any case, I wholeheartedly agree with you and I know all the mommies reading this do too! There is no replacement for one of your babies, none. I'm praying over Logan and asking God to restore him fully so he can live a long happy life as a younger brother and as a big brother - and always as your family's sunshine.
    Love you.

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