Well, today's number pretty much sucked as much as yesterday's. We're now up to a total of 4.5 million per kg. UGH! I just want to shake my fist at the sky and scream 'seriously?! You can't even let us get to FIVE so he won't have to go through it again tomorrow?!' but I figure there's little point in that. He does what He wants to do, and He wants us to blow more money on gas, more money on parking, and more importantly, even MORE time in Oakland. So we lose yet another day at home and he does it again tomorrow.
The silver lining is that he will be discharged tonight. Of course, he'll get home after 8 PM most likely and will have to leave again at 7 in the morning to start over, but what can I do? We have to take what we get these days and be glad for it. I'm just dealing with some anger issues at the moment. I wish with everything in me that we could just get some sustained good news, that things would go RIGHT more often, that all of this would just be over. But we're clearly in it for the very long haul whether or not it seems fair.
I've always known that life isn't a cakewalk and that there are challenges and suffering along the way, but this seems so unfathomably over the top that I'm not sure what to make of it. I'm 32 weeks pregnant today, my body is tired, and I have no idea how I'm going to stand going for long periods of time without seeing Logan after this baby is born. *sigh*
I know I'm all over the place emotionally at this point. But believe me, if you were ME, you'd understand my craziness. It's easy to say 'it's okay, God is in it!' when it's not you walking through the fire. It's a whole heck of a lot harder to believe it when it IS you.