That Lost Sheep

I've been wanting to touch on this subject for some time now, but hadn't felt the inspiration needed to really get 'er done, so to speak. But now that we're a mere 36 hours or so from starting cycle #4, undeniably the beginning of the truly tough meat of Logan's treatment protocol, it feels like 'the time'.

The Parable of the Lost Sheep was clearly intended to be an important one, as more than one Gospel relays the tale told by Jesus. In a nutshell, a shepherd misplaces a single sheep from his flock, and spends countless hours searching for that one fluffly little absentee until his efforts are rewarded.

Typically, that tale is used to convey God's love for His children; the notion that He'll search high and low for one single lost soul, never ceasing until He's able to welcome him or her back into His flock. And I agree: That's what it means.

However, and forgive me for taking liberties with the scriptures, I'd also argue that for me and for others in my position, it takes on an all new and important meaning.

I've had more than a few undoubtedly well-meaning folks say to me something along these lines. Some of you will find the sentiment shocking and appalling, while others will quietly acquiesce that you've had similar unspoken ruminations while reading about our journey:

It's such a shame that all of this is happening to your family. But remember that no matter what happens to Logan, you still have two beautiful children and one on the way.

I was beyond shocked the first time someone uttered those words in my direction. But I chalked it up to said person simply not knowing what to say, and after my heart wept a little, I let it go. When I heard similiar words a second time, I decided I needed to write an entry like this. The third time, which came very recently, I knew I had to share my thoughts, and sooner than later.

To put it simply, Logan is my little lost sheep. He's not a disposable object that can be replaced, or whose absence could ever be mitigated by the presence of another. In fact, he's a brighter light in this dark world than many, many others combined. He's well-worth being sought after, saved and redeemed.

So as his mother, I'm going to make sure that I keep my prayer warrior troops rallied, with the hope and faith that at the end of this journey, Logan will be 'found', restored to complete health, and returned to our little family 'flock'.