About Us

Our family of 6 (dad Adam, mom Sherry, big sister Abby and little brothers Isaac and Brady -- who was born on December 14, 2010) joined the ranks of pediatric cancer fighters when our 4-year old son Logan was diagnosed with a dangerous and highly malignant form of brain cancer in mid-August 2010. Logan's cancer journey began abruptly on Sunday, August 15, when his right eye suddenly turned inward during dinner. Twenty-four hours later, we were checking into Children's Hospital Oakland and finding out that life sometimes takes you places you'd never, ever imagine yourself going.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Logan Update: 11/18/10

I've come to realize that on the days that I don't want to pray, I should make a point of praying more. In the same way, on the days that I don't want to write, I should do it anyway. So here I am.

We're all still here at home. Logan's been out of the hospital since last Wednesday, which is pretty remarkable. While I love (LOVE) not having to drive to Oakland every day, not worrying about whether Abby and Isaac feel neglected, not being completely exhausted as I collapse into bed every night, and having my entire family under one roof, there are things that I don't love, too. For example, Logan has morphed into a whiny, incredibly demanding child. To be fair, it's not all the time, but... much of the time. Last night, we made him FIVE different things for dinner in a quest to get him to eat ANYthing. He rejected lasagna, and asked for a hot dog. Then he rejected the hot dog (after it was on the plate, in the bun, ready to eat and in his lap), and asked for pizza, which was rejected in short order. Then he asked for chicken nuggets, and you guessed it: Rejected those, too, after they'd already been made. Next he asked for macaroni and cheese. Adam put his foot down at first and said no, but changed his mind (with a heavy sigh) and said that he'd make it, but that Logan had to eat it. Did he? NO. Rejected that, too. He finally asked for lasagna again and actually ate a few bites, but that's what mealtimes tend to look like lately at our house. He's gotten used to being demanding and to getting what he wants.

Sure, some of it is our fault for giving in. But I seriously challenge anyone in our shoes to not fall into that particular pit as well: Your child is skin and bones, no muscle tone, you just want him to eat and gain weight, so you do what you can to try to get him to accept ANYthing. It's hard. It's not as simple as just saying 'no, sorry, eat what I made or starve', because he really could starve.

Still, tonight we're not taking the guff. He'll have two choices, and he'll pick one (or two, if he wants both). And he'll either eat it or not. The harder line stance is a direct result of the TPN (liquid nutrition IV) we can give him overnight, though; I'm sure that if we didn't have one of them at our beck and call, we'd probably still try to cater to his whims. Sigh. Just another complicated part of this whole routine.

In other news, his bloodwork this morning (which we delivered to our local Quest and was supposed to be processed STAT but wound up taking EIGHT hours to get to Philippa) showed a good magnesium level, slightly low potassium (which is his norm), platelets at 70 (post-yesterday's transfusion) and HGB at 9.7. All decent numbers. His WBC count came back at .1, which is theoretically higher than the 'less than .1' denotation that CHO uses, so he may be starting to recover. He's on cycle day #17 so still well-within the normal recovery range of day 14 to day 21, but of course we'd rather be on the earlier side than the later and not have it drag out as it did during the now-infamous cycle 2.

So what do we need prayer for? First off, for those numbers to rebound soon. If his platelets stay above 50, he won't have to go back for a transfusion, which would be so wonderful. We'd also like to see his WBC count increase for real. Until it does, he's stuck here at the house. While it's nice to be home and not at CHO, it would be nicer to be able to leave every now and then to go to Costco, the park, anywhere. It's easy to get whiny and unpleasant when you're stuck in the same place 24/7.

We also need the three Ps: Peace, patience and perseverance. I once again am beginning to feel like I'm wandering on a long journey through the desert, and am in need of encouragement.

Though in fairness, I should note that it's not that I haven't gotten any reassurance lately, because in my typical bizarre way, I have. (You know how I love my anecdotes.) In the car while driving to pick up a prescription for Mr. Logan earlier today, I was vaguely aware of the radio. I heard the DJ say 'new one from Sugarland' and 'listen carefully to the words', and then of course I tuned it out. The next thing I knew, I'd tuned back in again and lead singer Jennifer Nettles was singing this:

It’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright,
It’ll be alright again, it’ll be alright again,
I’m okay, It’ll be alright again, I’m okay (okay) It’ll be alright again, I’m okay

Just a little tiny miniscule something, but something nonetheless. And it was just enough of a little something to make my eyes water... a little.

Have a great night.


  1. It WILL be all right.

    And of course any of us would make five different dinners to make our sick child eat. You do what you have to. There will be plenty of times in the future to say, "You'll eat what I make and like it." Now is not that time, but it will come.

  2. Ah! That's why I couldn't post before. LJ is blocked at school and I was posting at school.

  3. I wonder if the dinner suggestions sound good to him in theory when suggested to him but when he sees them, they just don't appeal to him for whatever reason.


  4. That's a lot in one update. I'm glad he's doing well, and I'll pray that he continues to do so, and I'll pray for the three P's, of course. It must be so hard! My husband and I had an argument about how we *would* handle the five meals. I can't imagine what you're going through, actually being in the situation. It's all the little details that some people (including me) don't get about the day to day struggles. God bless all of you!

  5. I love that song. I love SO many songs for unique reasons. They draw out emotions and often I DO think (like you mentioned) God can reassure you through little things like that. I honestly do.
    I'm so glad you continue to be able to receive the reassurances, even with all the commotion going on around you!!
    Praying over those prayer request you wrote out!!!!
    Love and Hugs.

  6. I will pray for those things Sherry. Josh and I have been home most of the week sick with possible bronchitis. We have been feeling that stir crazy feeling a bit also. Not fun. I hope you all will be able to get out a little bit soon. Thank you for posting Sherry.

  7. So glad to get an update and to hear that he's still at home!! love you all and praying for all of the above!

  8. So, So, So happy to hear Logan is at home still.
    I have a number of friends from all over praying for Logan now because of what we talked about.
    I will pray for the three Ps!
    Bless you all!

  9. "I wonder if the dinner suggestions sound good to him in theory when suggested to him but when he sees them, they just don't appeal to him for whatever reason."
    This is a good point. Once I read it, I remembered that happened to my Dad when he was going through chemo. Things would 'sound' good but then he would look at it or smell it and be really turned off by it. Good for you for being so patient and yes, most parents would just do what you have to do to get that boy to eat.
    Saying lots of prayers for all those things...

  10. So happy to hear Logan still at home. I will pray for the three Ps!

  11. Thinking of you all. I can't imagine how tough it must be, and not want to be frustrated by your child but being so nonetheless. It would be impossible not to be! You guys are doing such a great job and he's SO lucky and blessed to have you guys for his family. We are praying for Mr. Logan every night here, as are many people I've passed the story along to. love, love.

  12. Praying for your spirit to be encouraged. Giving thanks that Logan is still home, because that means good things on the medical side. Praying for the three P's for all members of your family. Thank you for writing even when you don't 'feel like it'. I appreciate knowing specifically how you would like us to pray, even though I realize that God is already aware, it helps me focus. Good night!