It is, of course, always exciting to bring a newborn home from the hospital for the first time. In a way, it's just as exciting -- if not moreso -- to bring a sick child home for the first time after a round of treatment. When I got to Oakland this morning, Logan was awake and cheerful and sitting in his usual window spot, looking out at the birds and the occasionally passing BART trains. And it took me a minute to figure it out, but he also wasn't connected to his IV pole for the first time in three weeks. He did, of course, still have his chemo lines, but nothing to drag along and complicate movement.
The home care coordinator (Philippa) came by and said that as long as his metabolic panel from the morning came back normal, we could head out as soon as we picked up his meds from the pharmacy and received his home care supplies -- syringes, vials, etc.. She said they hadn't bothered to do a CBC draw today because his numbers from two days ago had held up beautifully yesterday: His WBC was still up over 17K and his platelets actually rose from 79 to 188 on their own without the aid of boosters. She said she would be shocked if he came back neutrophenic (low ANC) and was unable to start the next round on Wednesday. She also said that she couldn't get over how great he looked; actually, lots of the usual suspects said the same. The metabolic panel came back looking 'perfect', per P, so we were off at around 1 PM. He was definitely happy to head home, and left on his own two feet, wearing a Lightning McQueen baseball cap (thanks Jamie and Becca!) and ready to see some daylight. Since we had both cars with us, I let Logan decide who would drive him home in the van and he chose daddy.
It's just nice to be home. Things feel less hectic, less out of control. Less crazy. I think one of the most emotional moments of my life thus far happened when Abby came home from school and Logan walked up behind her to say hi. Adam's mom was there so I held it together, but I teared up interally. They just have such great affection for one another that it makes my heart ache to think of them being apart as they've been, and as they'll be again. Isaac was also very excited to see Logan; he pointed aggressively and said 'braa! Braa! and ran at him with open arms, but fortunately was somehow deflected. We spent a lot of time trying to keep them away from each other which is sad, but we just can't chance Logan catching the bug, too. Not with so much on the line.
The one thing that's been dogging me all day is his right eye. It just doesn't look better to me. And in fact, today was something of a bad day in terms of its directionality. I know that its positioning doesn't necessarily mean anything at all, but a more normaized position does often signal a reduction in tumor size. Again, no change doesn't mean it's worse or not getting smaller, but, well, it would be nice to have some tangible evidence that the first round had some sort of effect on its targets.
Anyway, I should get to bed. Thank you for continuing to pray for us. Please keep praying that we'll all manage to stay well and avoid Isaac's cold, and of course, for complete healing for Logan. Good night.
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