The Logan Update: 11/13/10

What to say about today. Well, I suppose it would make good sense to note first off that Logan made it through another day 'at home'. The quotes refer to the fact that much of the day was actually spent at Children's waiting to come back home; his blood draw this morning showed his platelets to be at 9, which is much too low, so he selected mommy for accompaniment duty, and he and I took off for Oakland at around 11 AM. Everything at the hospital takes a long time; it's time-consuming to check in (especially when the admitting doc misspells your last name and they can't figure out who you are for 15 minutes), to get orders written, to get blood products ready, to receive transfusions. But he got through the process without spiking a fever (thank God), and we were finally back out in the parking garage and headed home by 5:30.

He was so quiet during the drive that I assumed he'd fallen asleep, so I was shocked when I finally got off the freeway, stopped at a traffic light, turned to look at him and found him wide awake and staring at nothing in particular, Lambie clutched in-hand.

And that's sort of how he spent the remainder of the evening: Very quiet, but still aware. He rejected the beef burrito Adam had made him for dinner, so we microwaved a frozen individual-sized Stouffer's lasagna, which has become a recent favorite for some reason -- perhaps because the hospital doesn't offer lasagna. I think he ate about half while lying on the couch, and then he joined Abby and Isaac at the table to decorate some gingerbread cookies. He felt hot when I touched him, and that set off several hours of near-compulsive temperature-taking. We're supposed to call the oncology doctor on call if his underarm temp exceeds 100 degrees, but it never really did... at least not consistently. One of the two thermometers we use read 100.4 one time, but a minute later, it was down to 99.6. The other never went above the latter figure. Then his temp fell to 98.8 on both thermometers and seemed to rest there for a while. Adam's going to take his temp again with both therms when he comes upstairs in a bit. So we'll see how it goes.

It's been a tough day mentally. Not the worst I've ever had by any means, but just, I don't know, tiring. I can feel my hope entering one of its 'waning' phases, and for no real reason at all. Well, some of it may have to do with my moving my blog here from Facebook; I just don't see the support here that I saw every day over on FB. I don't regret my decision to move my entries to a more public locale, but I miss the comments and the confirmation tht we're still the recipients of much prayer. I hope that's not silly.

I do wish his eye would look better, but I also know it's not necessarily an indicator of what's going on with the tumor. The whole experience is just wearing on me. Tomorrow will be the 13-week marker, if you can believe that; We've known something was amiss for almost 13 weeks now. Thanks to my pregnancy, it's easy to keep track of the time that's passed. We're in the thick of treatment now, which is good, but it's just so exhausting in so many ways.

Please continue to pray for complete healing for my Logan. Also continue to pray for milder side effects as he works toward cycle 3 recovery. Today was day 12, and per our spreadsheet, he's already done better this time than last in terms of fevers and mucusitis. Praise God for those things. We just need his WBC count to begin to rebound sometime over the next 2 to 4 days or so. Sooner is better, but we'll take what we can get. Also, please pray for peace and patience for us; it's definitely much easier to snap at Abby and Isaac when we're tired and overwhelmed, and we know that's neither helpful nor productive.

Bless you and your families.