About Us

Our family of 6 (dad Adam, mom Sherry, big sister Abby and little brothers Isaac and Brady -- who was born on December 14, 2010) joined the ranks of pediatric cancer fighters when our 4-year old son Logan was diagnosed with a dangerous and highly malignant form of brain cancer in mid-August 2010. Logan's cancer journey began abruptly on Sunday, August 15, when his right eye suddenly turned inward during dinner. Twenty-four hours later, we were checking into Children's Hospital Oakland and finding out that life sometimes takes you places you'd never, ever imagine yourself going.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

The Irony of Thankfulness

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately on the subject of thankfulness: What it means, how we gauge it, how deep it runs. And after all of that thought, I've come to a conclusion that even I find ironic: I'm probably more thankful right now than I have been... well, ever.

Hold the phone, say what, are you crazy?!

I know. But it's true. I can't lie and say that I'm thankful that Logan is as sick as he is. I also can't pretend that I'm thrilled to be ready to pop out baby #4 while staring down the barrel of an uncertain and decidedly scary future. But even in the face of those things and many, many more, I also can't lie and say that I don't have anything for which to be thankful.

I'm thankful for our community and for the scores of people who have stepped up to offer help of all sorts. I'm thankful that Logan knocked it out of the park during chemo cycle #1 and was able to get started with cycle #2 in an expeditious manner. I'm even thankful for the delay after cycle #2, because it means we'll have a good shot at having him home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, if all goes well. That wasn't the case according to the 'if all things go totally perfectly schedule'. Sure, losing that week is scary and upsetting, but it was immeasurably wonderful to have him here unexpectedly for Halloween, so I know it'd be utterly amazing if he were able to be here for other bigger holidays as well. I'm thankful that cycle #3 has gone better than #2 so far, and that he's exceeded expectations with regard to staying well enough to be home. He had his check-up and Vincristine this morning, and came back home just as we'd hoped.

At this precise moment, as I sit on the couch next to Logan, I'm thankful that he's awake enough to enjoy Zaboomafoo on Sprout, that he's eating his second Oreo cookie, and that he ate 1/3 of a Costco hot dog and some lemonade for lunch.

But more than all of that, I'm thankful that we're being given a rare chance -- a 1 in 3 million-style rare chance -- to see God moving first-hand in an amazing way. Sure, it still stinks. I wish it wasn't me and my son and my family. But at the same time, I absolutely cannot wait to see what God will do tomorrow to blow my mind. He's already given us awesome MRI results, a sudden and, medically, nearly inexplicable recovery from the infection that had his lungs so compressed by displaced fluid that he could hardly breathe. And now, he's given us a nice and unexpected break from the hospital.

I continue to believe and proclaim that Jesus saves, and for that I'm thankful. And I'm thankful that this year, I have an all-new reason to cling to that truth and to believe. Just as Jesus saved Jairus' daughter, the paralytic and scores of others during His time on this earth, he can also -- and I believe wants to -- save my child. Logan is a light in this world, and I hope that if you've not met him, that you will some day.

So yeah, it feels a little ironic to feel gratitude for any of this. But it's my call to share my feelings and my beliefs as we travel this path, so there you go. Bless you all, and as Thanksgiving approaches, remember to be thankful -- for the blessings and the challenges in your own lives.

7 comments:

  1. I'm bawling my eyes out - once again - so I'm at a loss for any coherent words. Thank you for that post. Beautiful. Just beautiful. And thank you for continuing to share this journey with us and share your gift.

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  2. And I am so thankful for you, Sherry, and for the way you share your heart and your family with all of us who care and are praying for Logan. I am thankful that God has given us a way to pour out our hearts to Him, and that He HEARS us when we pray! Blessings and big hugs to all of you!

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  3. Thank you for reminding us to be alert to what God is doing and to be ever so thankful for all that He has done for us and all of our blessings. Prayers for more miracles for Logan!

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  4. I have tears in my eyes Sherry. That was so heart-felt and beautifully put. Logan is amazing. You are amazing. You're whole family is amazing. And the reason you are is because God made you that way, it makes me smile. That whole timing thing I am in awe by. It's the common question we all ask "why doesn't God just do it now?" etc. .... Well, it's so wonderful that you've drawn our attention to a blessing that came out of that awful (at the time) delay and infection during cycle 2...getting to spend certain and very specific times together as a family!
    I will be praying that God protects Logan and keeps him at home with his beloved family during these special upcoming holidays as MUCH as possible!!!
    HUGS!

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  5. You've brought tears to my eyes also. Prayers continue for complete recovery for Logan and strength and peace for you and your family.

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  6. Prayers and more prayers. And a thankful heart that God sees the big picture and wants bigger blessings for us than we can even imagine! Who could see past the obstacles that were round 2 to even DREAM that your family might get to spend THREE holidays together at home under one roof?? Our God sure is awesome! Thank you for your thankfulness and continuing to share your story with us.

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  7. I LOVE this post. You have expressed James 1 perfectly. What a great list of things for which to be thankful!!!

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