About Us

Our family of 6 (dad Adam, mom Sherry, big sister Abby and little brothers Isaac and Brady -- who was born on December 14, 2010) joined the ranks of pediatric cancer fighters when our 4-year old son Logan was diagnosed with a dangerous and highly malignant form of brain cancer in mid-August 2010. Logan's cancer journey began abruptly on Sunday, August 15, when his right eye suddenly turned inward during dinner. Twenty-four hours later, we were checking into Children's Hospital Oakland and finding out that life sometimes takes you places you'd never, ever imagine yourself going.

Monday, February 28, 2011

The Logan Update: 2/28/11

The past several days have been very challenging for me. Fortunately, Logan has handled them with the same grace and joy with which he's handled almost everything about the past six and a half months, so I'm grateful for that. But I'm tired. Drained.

This morning we had the consult with Dr. Chung, the radiation oncologist at Alta Bates. While I know intellectually that we're doing what we have to do to try to save his life, my heart cried out in protest as she went over the protocol and the long-term effects. It's absolutely crushing to think about radiating my dear, sweet little boy, this child who I carried in my womb and birthed and have loved so dearly for the past several years. It's crushing to think of his beautiful eloquence and intelligence being affected by this horrible, awful decision we've had to make for him. It's crushing to know that he'll lose most of his hearing, that he'll have trouble learning down the road, that his growth could be stunted. I continue to realize that people can be cruel and I'm acutely aware that we're setting him up to be the object of much ridicule later in life.

But at the same time, I also know that our goal here is for him to have a life, and that it wouldn't even be a possibility for him without undergoing radiation. It's times like this that I feel indignant, angry, defiant: How could this be happening to him? How? It's beyond infuriating. It's so grossly unjust that there simply aren't words. But again, we long for him to have a life here, so we do what needs to be done. And I feel a modicum of peace over it all. The past days have been nothing short of torturous for me as I felt my hope wane to the point of despair, but there's something renewing about beginning a new form of treatment. There's the promise of something better around the corner.

So he'll begin craniospinal radiation early Thursday morning. The first few weeks will target his entire spinal column as well as his entire brain, while subsequent weeks will focus on the spots that have hosted known disease, for a total of six weeks of treatment. The doctor prescribed a new course of decadron that he's to take for the next week to try to stave off any swelling that might occur. Given the proximity of one of the tumors to his spinal cord, it's a precaution that we need to take.

As of now, we're toying with the idea of taking the kids to Disneyland this weekend, before the side effects kick in and Logan is too tired and too sick to travel.

Please continue praying for Logan's complete healing and for our family. Please pray that the known spinal tumors -- and any others that have rooted themselves in his little body -- will be kept at bay until radiation begins Thursday. Please pray that the radiation will be outrageously successful and that the doctors will be surprised by its effectiveness. Please pray for peace and wisdom for Adam and myself; we're both drained -- empty beyond empty. And we're scared and worried and struggling to hold on to hope in the face of so much crushingly bad news. Pray for widsom for all of the doctors and for peace and joy for Logan as this next phase of treatment begins and progresses. Please pray that the side effects will be as mild as possible; that the Lord would be merciful to Logan in this way, particularly given how very, very much he's already had to endure. It takes my breath away when I consider how much he's had to take at such a tender age.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support and your prayers. They mean so very much. Blessings to you.

6 comments:

  1. My heart breaks for the lack of choices you have right now. I'm hoping that Logan gets through this treatment relatively unscathed.

    If you can swing it, take them to Disneyland. I think you'll be happy you did.

    Kris

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  2. Hoping that the trip to Disney works out!! I know ALL of the kids, but especially Logan given what his day to day life has been like in and out of hospitals and out of surgeries and treatments, would just have a blast. I can see Logan's face in my mind as he stumbled on (or probably more like raced to see) all the Cars characters :)

    Praying all of the requests Sherry. And also praying that Logan would be that case that you hear of that is just a miraculous case of healing with little to NO side effects, and that people would KNOW in their hearts that God healed him. Logan's already proved to be a not-so-textbook-case, right? ;) Asking God to HEAL him so he can live the life you, as his loving family and all of us who have ever crossed paths with Logan, know he should be living right now!!!
    Love, hugs, and abundant prayers to you all!

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  3. Praying for you and Logan. My heart goes out to you.

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  4. Praying for wisdom, patience, healing, everything good to come your way. You are doing what you have to do. Praying for side effects to be super duper minimal and the treatment to be crazy good.

    If you are in LA and want us to babysit Brady while you are at Disneyland, we can take him for the day (and I'm not just saying this, we really can). Also, if you need anything else while you are here or just want to hang out, you know my #!!!

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  5. As a teacher, I have many kids with learning disabilities, special needs, etc., and they mainstream in my class just fine. I think kids today are a bit different than the kids we grew up with. Not blowing sunshine up your butt, and I'm not saying that kids :won't: ever be cruel, but I don't know if you necessarily have to worry about that. I have a ton of stories I could share. I have a gut feeling that you'll be pleasantly surprised how well Logan gets through with few side effects. Look at how well he's done thus far. Definitely go to Disneyland, and please know that you are never far from my thoughts.

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  6. "It's beyond infuriating. It's so grossly unjust that there simply aren't words."
    Yes. This exactly. It really is so hard to find the words, much less the right words. You and your entire family and his medical team are contstantly in my thoughts. You are an amazing mother Sherry, Logan is lucky to have you by his side. I hope you take the trip to Disneyland. :)

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