The Logan Update: 2/3/11

I feel like a yoyo. Up, down, up, down, up, down... it just goes on and on, me dangling at the end of a very long string... hopeful, hopeless, hopeful, hopeless. I suppose it's better than plain old monotony, but oh my, is it ever brutal.

Philippa called early this morning to say that there had been a cancellation, so Adam and Logan took off for CHO at 8:45. Logan went in for the spinal tap at 11:30, and the pair was headed back home again by 12:30. My sunshine has been under anesthesia so many times of late that he has hardly any drug naivete left at all. At 4 years old.

Anyway, they came by the house and picked up Isaac, Brady and I and then we headed to Costco en masse. Logan loves the cheese pizza there, so it was his lunch pick. Afterward, I walked Abby home from school, and Logan and I went to The Nail Polish Store (a.k.a. Ulta) so he could choose some new colors for me. Yep, totally serious: He loves to help me select my nail color. I guess he was dissatisfied with my collection, and decided this morning that he needed to help me pick out some new ones. True to form, my bright, spritely boy picked out some electric shades: Bright yellow, bright orange, bright pink. And he threw in some more muted shades of green and purple to top it off. When we got home, he insisted that I put on the new colors, and as he likes to do, he selected which shade should be applied to which nail. Because when Logan directs nail polish application, many different colors are used. It's one of the many things that I love about him.

Pastor Mike came by to talk, which was comforting, and then we got a call from Philippa with the spinal tap results. Although the fluid contained atypical cells, the pathologist did not/could not identify them as cancer cells: They were defined simply as 'not malignant'. I don't know what they are or why they're there. And it's important to note that those cells being 'not malignant' doesn't mean that the tumors along his spinal cord aren't AT/RT; they may not be, but the assumption is that they are, given that their location is a common one for AT/RT cells to show up.

Based on that result, Logan is tentatively scheduled for a second resection (surgery) to attempt to remove the primary mass in his brain on Tuesday. The one thing that could keep it from happening are his platelet counts: They've been very slow to come back post-cycle 5, and I know Dr. S won't want to do the procedure if the number is too low.

I'm very thankful that the cells appear to be benign. That's a bit of praise-God-worthy news. But I'm scared of the surgery. I'm confident in Dr. S's abilities as a surgeon. I know he's excellent, but it's still intimidating, worrisome, you name it. It's not something you want to have happen to your child once, much less more than once. But I'm trying to give it over to God. I'm trusting that He will take care of my sweetie and keep him safe.

Please pray that we'll feel peace over the upcoming surgery. Pray that Logan's platelet count will continue to rise over the coming days. Pray that God will protect him and keep him safe during the procedure and that his recovery will be faster and less difficult than it was the first time. Pray that despite the rampant illness in our home right now, he will stay well enough to continue forward with treatment on schedule.

And of course, as always, please continue to pray for his complete healing. Thank you all and good night.