The Logan Update: 1/8/2011

I can't believe we've been on this cancer journey for nearly five months. Intellectually I know it's been that long since I stood tearfully quivering in the pediatrician's office as I absorbed the news; my first thought was this is my fault; I was upset over having three boys. The heart-piercing pain and terror are still remarkably fresh in a physical sense; when I let myself go back, I can feel them all over again. But emotionally, wow. Time can truly fly by. And in many ways, it has.

Today was a good day for Logan, I think. The past few days have been marked by many, many, many complaints of boredom. While it's annoying to hear an incessant stream of 'I want something to do; I'm bored's, it's also a relief since it means he feels well enough to BE bored and to complain. He had a brief nap in the afternoon, and drove the car around the floor a few times, beeping at the nurses' station as always and doing his crazy little dances. He also enjoyed shooting paper airplanes toward his door; his room this round is right next to the nurses' station and it amuses him. A lot. And honestly, I think he amuses them, too, so it's a win-win situation.

His morning nurse, Stephanie, remarked on how well he's done so far. She was wowed when I told her that the MRI showed that the mass is down to 15 to 20% of its original size, and was -- her word, really! -- amazed by how he's handled it all and how well the tumor has bowed to the treatment. I wish I'd had the guts to say it aloud, but I thought it to myself: God does amazing things. We have to expect and ask for amazing things if we want to receive them.

Last night he finished the last drug of cycle 5, and is currently in the process of clearing said methotrexate. Even during the disastrous cycle 2, he still cleared it reasonably well, so I'm praying for more of the same. And then there's a lot of waiting until February 1st, when we have a third MRI to see how things look.

I have a lot of muddled thoughts floating around in my little head. After the emotional tornado that was last week when we thought the chemo hadn't worked, the past several days have felt like a tropical vacation (which I tell ya, I could really use! Hawai'i, here I come... eventually). I feel at ease, comfortable. But in the same breath, I'm trying to avoid feeling TOO comfortable; there's danger inherent in feeling TOO comfortable. When I feel TOO comfortable, I forget to pray, and prayer is still very much needed as we march toward Logan's eventual healing. I'm mindful of that, thank God. So I'm still doing all I can to remember to lift him up each and every day, multiple times a day.

And that's where I'll have to leave you for now. I'm finding that my thinking is far too muddled to say much else coherently right now. Thank you so very much for your continued prayers for Logan's recovery and for expecting miracles. May God bless you all richly.