About Us

Our family of 6 (dad Adam, mom Sherry, big sister Abby and little brothers Isaac and Brady -- who was born on December 14, 2010) joined the ranks of pediatric cancer fighters when our 4-year old son Logan was diagnosed with a dangerous and highly malignant form of brain cancer in mid-August 2010. Logan's cancer journey began abruptly on Sunday, August 15, when his right eye suddenly turned inward during dinner. Twenty-four hours later, we were checking into Children's Hospital Oakland and finding out that life sometimes takes you places you'd never, ever imagine yourself going.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Justified, Gosh Darn It.

I didn't want my fears about Logan being on 5East to be even remotely justified, but they are. Of course, it's all premature: All I know for sure is that he's back at CHO, this time in 5South. And I know that at one point this afternoon, his temperature reached 104 while on Tylenol, so I'm confident that he's where he needs to be, and that we did what needed to be done. Why it got to that point, I don't know. I feel like God has kicked me in the gut-- or maybe merely allowed me to be kicked in the gut -- once again. I know, I know: That's not fair. But it's simply how I feel, so I said it. And I know that my poor sweet boy is suffering yet again. And I know that I still fail to see how torturing a 4-year old with this kind of crap is necessary or fair. I don't know what he has or if he has anything at all; they drew blood cultures when he got to the ER before he was admitted, so we should know something within the next day or two, if there's anything to be known. It could simply be a neutropenic fever. Of course, he's had elevated temps from neutropenia during previous cycles, but never so high. So we anticipate to hear that there's an infection. Somewhere.

What I'm wondering about is the nature of the bug. If it's something that came from within himself (a la the line infection last round), that's one thing. If it's NOT -- if it's something that came from outside of his body -- I'm going to pitch a royal FIT over him not being in isolation before he was released. I don't care if they were full. They had no business giving him a roommate when he was neutropenic. He should've been put somewhere, anywhere, by himself. But it didn't happen. And oooh, if that's the root of this fever, you can bet your best brassy buttons that I'm going to let them know what I think.

Yeah, I know: It won't do any good. They know it was wrong. They were full. They tried. Blah blah blah. But it DID do good when I hit the ceiling over the missing c-diff cultures cycle 2, so you never know. I'm tired, I'm emotional, and they've pissed me off. Don't mess with mama bear or chances are good that I'll chew your hand off. Or... something.

In other news, Brady appears to be sensitive to not only all traces of dairy, but soy as well. He spent much of last night and today screaming. Incessantly. I'm angry over it; I remember praying fervently during my pregnancy that this one time, we'd be blessed with a good baby. And it didn't happen. He's cranky and fussy and super sensitive to foods, which means I can't even indulge in my faves because it'll send him over the edge and leave me regretting the indiscretion.

I'm struggling. None of this is fair. I know the good and bad comes in waves, but I can't see God anymore. I feel alone. And it sucks. I don't want this to be my life.


  1. So sorry Sherry.... Can I do anything to help? Playdate with Samantha? Could come by and take the kids over to the park and give you a little break? Could give little Brady a stroller walk around the park too.

  2. Oh and you are 100% right. It isn't fair at all. Wish I could make it so...

  3. I'm so sorry that you all are going through all this pain, and that Logan is suffering with a fever again, Sherry. I don't know what to say except that we care and we keep on praying.

  4. It has to be so overwhelming and none of us truly understand, but we will pray for you and hold you up. :( I'm so sorry that Brady is being affected by what you eat. Restricted diets are so hard. Praying it will get easier. All of it. I wish I lived in California so I could give you a break.

  5. I'm willing to bet that kids with Mamma Bears as moms end up healthier and happier. (They should do a study to prove that!) Keep it up. He's lucky to have you.

    Continuing to send love and prayers your way, dear friend.