12/22

The tiredness is catching up with me. Between Brady and Logan, there wasn't a lot of sleeping going on last night. I'm hoping for better performances this coming go-round.

Logan, Brady and I went shopping today for Adam's Christmas presents. It was just a duo of stops: First to Walmart and on to Costco for lunch, but it was such a sweet time for me. Logan had good energy; he actually walked on his own through Walmart, his Lightning McQueen backpack strapped on with the 24-hour antibiotic pump inside, and never complained about his legs being too tired. So thankful for that; such a change from months past. He was a little more tired by the time we got to Costco, but again, was calm about it, ate a few bites of his pizza before deeming himself 'all done', and in general was very pleasant.

There was a distinctly 'Logan' moment that took place at Costco while I was waiting in line to pick up our food. I was a few feet away from the cart, which housed both a sleeping Brady in his carseat and Logan in the kid-seat. I happened to glance over at them, and saw that Logan was smiling a huge, genuine grin at something in the distance I couldn't see. I still have no idea what he saw -- could've been another kid at play, someone smiling at him, anything -- but it got me right in the heart to see his little spirit so pleased with whatever secret stimuli he enjoyed. And it touched me deeply to see shades of the real Logan back once again. I've struggled lately with what the chemo has done to his appearance. While I know it's temporary and transient and not important, it still breaks my heart to see him so physically broken. But in that moment, I could see the real him, despite the hair loss, the missing eyelashes and the wan face. And it was a beautiful, beautiful thing. It reminded me of an important Biblical truth: The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

At any rate, I'm falling asleep and as I've mentioned before, drool on the keyboard just isn't a good thing. Bless you all, and many thanks for continued prayers.