About Us

Our family of 6 (dad Adam, mom Sherry, big sister Abby and little brothers Isaac and Brady -- who was born on December 14, 2010) joined the ranks of pediatric cancer fighters when our 4-year old son Logan was diagnosed with a dangerous and highly malignant form of brain cancer in mid-August 2010. Logan's cancer journey began abruptly on Sunday, August 15, when his right eye suddenly turned inward during dinner. Twenty-four hours later, we were checking into Children's Hospital Oakland and finding out that life sometimes takes you places you'd never, ever imagine yourself going.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Jittery

Tomorrow is the day. The day. Logan's second MRI. It's been in the back of my mind for a month or so now, ever since we had the initial date of January 4th, he did well with cycle 4, and it was moved up to December 28th. Tomorrow is the day that someone will find out how well chemo rounds 3 and 4 did with regard to shrinking the tumors. It probably won't be us, since Philippa said not to expect news until Wednesday when Dr. Sun, the neurosurgeon, has a chance to take a detailed look at the images. But still, someone will know what's going on.

And I'm scared.

Of course I am: A lot rides on these little pictures of his brain and spinal column. The results will dictate what comes next: Surgery, chemo round 5, or the transplant cycle. My quiet prayer is for the transplant cycle; I'm hoping that it will show no signs of the tumors and that surgery won't be needed, since Logan had a hard time recovering from his initial procedure back in August. The transplant cycle is the big karate chop to Logan's cancer -- the real knockout round. And I know the team wants to get him to transplant as quickly as possible, so as to have the best possible chance of preventing additional tumor growth (or recurrence down the line). Relapse is particularly common in kids with AT/RTs, so the sooner we can punch it out for good, the better.

Even though we're nearly 4 1/2 months into this process and we've spent countless hours at CHO and life has changed indelibly and forever, part of me still feels like I'm walking around in a dream. Fortunately, the edges have softened a little, allowing me to call it a 'dream' (even if it's still a bad one) instead of a 'nightmare'. After all, it'd be hard to still call it a nightmare after we've seen the amazing things we've seen and interacted with the incredible people we've met. I was telling Adam the other day that I really enjoy knowing Philippa and Molly. They're incredible women and so very good at what they do. But then I paused and sighed, and noted that I wished I didn't know them at all. But I do. And I'm glad to know them. People as good as they are can't possibly be party to a full-on nightmare, so I thank God for them. They probably don't know it, but they make this whole ordeal much easier.

I've given up on the 'whys' for now (though I'm sure I'll go running back to them at some point, since I'm human and it's hard to not wonder why our family? Why Logan? It's just part of my essence to be a Doubting Thomasina.) I still think it's because he's so purely good to his core. I still believe this is a spiritual battle. And I still believe that Logan's prayer army has helped to bring our situation to the Lord in a vigorous, can't-be-ignored kind of way. And I thank ALL of you who pray for him and who've recruited others to pray for your invaluable role in the process. I ask that you continue to pray and to spread the word to your praying friends and churches. I know it sounds a little selfish for me to ask over and over again, but there are always more people who can jump aboard, and I cling to the healing stories in the Bible that have been brought to my attention so many times: The paralytic who was healed thanks to the faith of his friends, the woman who was healed because of her own faith. I'm calling upon my own faith to guide me, and it says to recruit, recruit, recruit, so that's what I'm doing. It's what any mother would do to save her child. So onward I go, even if I sound like a pestering, persistent, annoying gal at times. What can I say? In many ways, I'm just a bulldog.

Please pray for us as we await the results, and for an uneventful MRI for Logan. He's not happy about going back, but it's an outpatient procedure so at least he should be home by evening. More than anything, please pray for good, workable results. I want God to really wow them. I told Molly a few months ago to expect great things, amazing things. That faith has a role in this world and that Logan has a purpose here. And I want God to prove that to her. Of course I do; he's my little guy and I love him so dearly that no other outcome is acceptable. So it's my prayer. My big, scary, almost-too-much-to-hope-for prayer. And I thank you for praying it with me.

If faith can move a mountain, it can knock out a cancer. Believe it.

I want to believe; help my unbelief.

16 comments:

  1. God is in the business of doing "immeasurably more than we could ask or think", and we are praying for a complete eradication of every cancer cell in Logan's body. We will be waiting anxiously with you to hear the results of the MRI, Sherry, and we will not stop praying for your family! Hugs to each of you!

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  2. Praying that all goes well tomorrow and it's time for the transplant.

    --Kris

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  3. praying fervently for great MRI news - God knows what that is!!

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  4. Praying that God will really wow them with some incredible results, Sherry. I am praying this deep in my soul. (((hugs)))

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  5. Praying hard Sherry ~ Praying for incredible results on the MRI and for a clear and fantastic plan of action for what's to come next! AND that you will find out soon ~ I'm sure the minutes/hours/days waiting to hear the news feels like forever, so praying news travels FAST!!!
    Love and hugs to you guys!

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  6. ((( HUGS ))) Positive thoughts, energy, vibes, prayers - to Logan and your family as you wait for results!!

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  7. I am praying for you right now.

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  8. prayers for the family and wishing the best possible news!

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  9. Praying for the MRI to be totally clear of any tumor and for strength for all of you.

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  10. Sherry, praying for God to use Logan to teach so many. Praying for a completely clean MRI. Praying for peace as you await the results. Praying for all of us to believe with every ounce of our being that God is definitely bigger than cancer! Waiting for the news with you. . .

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  11. Thinking of you and sending prayers and positive energy your way.

    Your emotions and thoughts ring true for me too. I did find a lot of goodness came out of the badness and if not for the badness, I would not have experienced that goodness. If that makes any sense at all! ;^)

    Hoping and praying for a fantastic 2011 for you and your family.

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  12. Prayers ongoing for all of you.

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  13. Praying. And many others along with us. Love you.

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  14. Our whole family are praying for today.

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