About Us

Our family of 6 (dad Adam, mom Sherry, big sister Abby and little brothers Isaac and Brady -- who was born on December 14, 2010) joined the ranks of pediatric cancer fighters when our 4-year old son Logan was diagnosed with a dangerous and highly malignant form of brain cancer in mid-August 2010. Logan's cancer journey began abruptly on Sunday, August 15, when his right eye suddenly turned inward during dinner. Twenty-four hours later, we were checking into Children's Hospital Oakland and finding out that life sometimes takes you places you'd never, ever imagine yourself going.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Hello, Predictability? It's Me Again.

I'll let you in on a little something about me: I can be pretty predictable and boring. Like I knew yesterday that if Logan didn't clear his Methotrexate this morning, I'd be disappointed. Sad. Down. And despite my best intentions to say it ain't so, no can do: I spent the day feeling all of those negative emotions. They came and went like waves, rushing in and out of my heart and effectively wearing away at my faith. I started to feel the old sense of bitterness again -- the whys and the frustrations. Why am I so negative? I often wonder.

Well, in this case at least, there's a good precedent for worry. We've seen and trudged through the valley of the low-lows. Round 2 haunts me even now, despite the awesome success that was round 3 and the promise Logan has shown so far during round 4. There's no reason to believe that he won't clear his Meth soon and be able to come home again.

But I confess that fear has entrenched itself in my heart and I'm having a hard time believing that this will all have a good outcome. I want to believe. I want to have the faith that people like my grandma (hi grandma) have about all of this. But I'm just so... worried. Scared. Stressed. Afraid. All of those things that are natural for me to feel, but not at all productive or helpful. I looked Logan's pony pictures from preschool last year and instead of allowing them to make me smile, they made me cry.

I need to re-focus, uproot the fear, re-set my eyes on the prize, and be hopeful again. I just need a little kick to get it done. Easy enough, right? Not really.


  1. *kick*

    Sherry, he will be ok. I trust in G-d to carry him and your family through this! He is so strong and you are so strong. There will be so many more pony pictures. I have so much faith for Logan, I am filled with it.

  2. I know your fears..
    it will be alright.. you are strong and will get through this..

  3. Sherry, even the centurian asked Jesus to help him in his unbelief. He will help you to. Praying for faith in the mercy and healing power of God in Logan.

  4. This is why you have 'Logan's Army' on this journey with you. We are here to fill in the gaps and holes that threaten to expose your faith and your spirit. We are here to protect you from the darkness and evil that are trying to make their big move. We know that you 'want to believe' and for now, that is good enough. We stand on God's truth and believe it for you! Praying for sunshine and rainbows in the morning, both outside and in your heart. May you wake up feeling refreshed : )

  5. Be encouraged, my Men's Bible study group continues to pray for you, Logan and the rest of the family - specifically for clearance. Just another of Logan's Army...Bruce Jamieson