About Us

Our family of 6 (dad Adam, mom Sherry, big sister Abby and little brothers Isaac and Brady -- who was born on December 14, 2010) joined the ranks of pediatric cancer fighters when our 4-year old son Logan was diagnosed with a dangerous and highly malignant form of brain cancer in mid-August 2010. Logan's cancer journey began abruptly on Sunday, August 15, when his right eye suddenly turned inward during dinner. Twenty-four hours later, we were checking into Children's Hospital Oakland and finding out that life sometimes takes you places you'd never, ever imagine yourself going.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Pass it Along -- PLEASE!

As much as I'm inclined to just hide in a corner and eat my own hair, I can't. I can't let disappointment crush me, especially since hope is still very much alive. The bastard tumor may not be smaller, but the contrast looks better (measure of aggressiveness), it's NOT bigger, and it hasn't spread to his spinal column. As several of you have pointed out to me (and thank you for that), those are three big things to be thankful for in a very real way.

So what if it's not smaller? It'll just make for a more amazing, God-stamped story down the road, right? It's easy to write that and I want to believe it, but when I think it, I get that feeling of having swallowed too much air: Like it's SO much to hope for that I can hardly fathom it coming to pass.

Logan is still a fighter. At this moment, he's acting like his usual, pre awareness-of-cancer self. He's sitting on the couch being silly with his sister. The oncologist on service this week, Dr. Golden, said we could go ahead and disconnect his Vanco (antibiotic pump), so he's not hooked up to anything at the moment. Aside from a somewhat wonky eye, the clip that attaches the tubes from his chemo port to his shirt and a general lack of hair, he's very normal.

Cancer be damned, he's doing well. That has to be worth something, even as I battle my own fears.

I'm scared to pieces over this. It's sort of like the feeling I had when I first learned there was a tumor. Then it got better, and we got the pathology report and the feeling came back again. Then he started treatment and the first two rounds led to tumor shrinkage, and it got better. Then this disappointing MRI... it comes in waves, it seems. I'm trying to remain mindful of that.

Even Adam is scared. I can see it in his eyes, even if he doesn't come out and say it. He's a private person. He also doesn't relish the notion of upsetting me, so he generally keeps his emotions in check and to himself. But I know he's worried and disappointed just like outwardly-emotionally-expressive-and-volatile me. And for him to be worried, you know it's serious, because he just doesn't waste energy worrying over much.

Before I forget to note it, we won't hear back from the surgeon until Monday, which is disappointing, but apparently he's on vacation and his office staff doesn't know where he went. So please pray that things will stay static (or get better!) between now and then. If he decides it's operable, he'll have surgery on my birthday. I've long-anticipated this as my 'lucky' birthday, since I like 1s and 3s and I'll be 33 on 1/11/11. My prayer is that if surgery IS part of that day, that he'll be able to get it all. Otherwise, we're likely looking at a cycle 5 starting early next week.


So why am I writing again? What does the subject line mean? I know I've called all of you to action before, because I've felt unsettled and prompted to do so. And I know there are so many more folks than I can even imagine already praying for Logan to be healed on this side of heaven. But there can always be more. And we need a bigger army. Logan needs a bigger army. I feel that to the very tips of my toes. God can accomplish anything with a simple thought, but this is a battle, an ultimate chess game. There are obstacles and push-backs from an opponent. I know that some of you will think I'm nuts, but I believe it to be true.

As I sat upstairs trying to compose myself earlier today, I went in search of a Bible. Of course I couldn't find mine, so I grabbed Abby's children's version and prayed, fervently, for something inspirational, something rife with meaning, to catch my eye. So I flipped it open and landed once again on the story of Jonah. Again. It's been a common theme, along with the stories of miraculous healing. The people prayed, and God heard them and responded.

My takeaway is that we need those prayers. We need as many as we can get. I cannot sit in a corner and eat my hair and moan and cry and give up just because things didn't go as I'd prayed they would go with the second MRI. Logan's life here on the earth is worth saving. Ask anyone at all who knows him and I don't think you'd find a soul who'd disagree.

So here's what I'm asking of you: If you know anyone at all who would be willing to offer up prayers for Logan's complete healing and you haven't yet asked them to join the team, please re-post part of this and/or send them this way. If you know of a church that would be willing to pray for him, please ask them to do so. Even if you don't think you know someone, please pass along Logan's story and maybe it will catch someone's eye. Even if you think I'm a bat-poo crazy religious zealot, find someone to pass it to; maybe the results will be surprising. I'm casting a net as far and wide as I can on my own, but I need your help to reach as many people as possible. After all, Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find; knock and the door will be opened unto you. I cling to this as this frustrating and incredibly scary time persists.

I know I've been a broken record. :) But I also know that the only certainty in this world is that God is ultimately in control. So I continue to appeal to Him to save my sunshine, to restore health, to seal out the cancer and to make our family whole once again. And honestly, I don't know what else to do. I'm just a mom trying to save her son; nothing more, nothing less. I don't think I'm inspirational or unusual. I'm just doing what anyone in my position would do.

Thank you.


  1. Sherry I am so sorry that the results weren't what you hoped, but praise God that the tumor hasn't grown, or spread, and that it looks less aggressive.

    I continue to pray for Logan's complete healing, and for strength and comfort for you and your family. I will continue to share your story, Logan's story, with everyone I know and ask for their prayers as well.

  2. Sherry, I have passed on your request and will also ask my praying friends at work to bring your requests for Logan before the Lord. The Lord still reigns, and we will not stop praying for complete healing for Logan and for His peace to flood your hearts.

  3. My prayers are with your son and entire family. Miracles do happen, prayers are answered. Keep your faith strong and always remember God never leaves us, ever!

    A friend of a friend

  4. I'm praying. My family-family is praying. My church family is praying. My friends are praying We're praying for all of you... that the enemy would not gain any footholds and that the gates of heaven would be opened for you, and His glory would shine brightly in this situation and in your lives. Love you all so.

  5. May God lift up your precious son in healing. Prayers for strength, patience and peace that only He can give. Will spread the word about your need for prayers for him!

  6. Praying for you and your beautiful boy-
    -jennifer, CHO, 4SOUTH

  7. I've posted your request in my LiveJournal. I have many friends there who are praying for Logan, and hope that we can add more warriors to the fight.

  8. Hi Sherry,
    My name is Faith, Our family too has been to the Valley of the Shadow. I just want to confirm that you are doing the right thing. A Mom trying to save her kid. That is what it is all about.
    "I know the plans I have for you" says the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you Hope and a future." I have said this to myself so many times.
    God will guide you. Whatever His Plan, He will be with you and see you through. It seems to me that I was more at peace, calmer, more able to focus on what Yelena needed when I surrendered all things to the will of God. It sounds so weird, and am not a religious zealot either. It was just that she was suffering so much and I thought maybe we wrong in praying for a cure. But when we did that, when we prayed for God to hold her in is Loving Arms, things started turning around. He gave us the hope we so desperately needed. And though our daughter's condition is not curable, she has progressed more than anyone ever thought she would. She can have a life. She is out of the woods and no longer has life threatening things going on in her body. God is Good!
    We will put the word out on our caringbridge site and at church also. God be With you,

  9. Logan's fight to beat cancer reached me via my daughter Charlotte and I will post it on Facebook for prayers, and to Valley Bible Fellowship a huge church here in Bakersfield, Ca. I am also fond of 1's and 3's.. 13 is my favorite number. I once was told I had colon cancer and after 6 months of tests etc.. suddenly it was gone no trace of it. So against all odds it can happen shrink away and be gone. Ferverent prayers going out for your Logan.

  10. Saw your post on a friends fb page. Lifting Logan in prayer to our Heavenly Father who is Faithful...

  11. Whatever you need Sherry. My Dad's church in South Carolina has Logan on their prayer list. I will make sure they are saying as many as they can to add to the prayer warriors.