Our family of 6 (dad Adam, mom Sherry, big sister Abby and little brothers Isaac and Brady -- who was born on December 14, 2010) joined the ranks of pediatric cancer fighters when our 4-year old son Logan was diagnosed with a dangerous and highly malignant form of brain cancer in mid-August 2010. Logan's cancer journey began abruptly on Sunday, August 15, when his right eye suddenly turned inward during dinner. Twenty-four hours later, we were checking into Children's Hospital Oakland and finding out that life sometimes takes you places you'd never, ever imagine yourself going.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
A New School Year
Adam went to the office late today so we could all troop, en masse, to drop Abby off for her first day of second grade. As we trotted along, Adam pushing the stroller and me a few paces behind with Abby and Isaac, I felt a flood of conflicted emotion.
At first, the dominant feeling was frustration, tinged with sadness. Had the events of the past year not happened, Logan would've entered Kindergarten today. As I caught glimpses of his should've-been classmates, dressed in their first-day finery and happily trotting toward their classrooms, my heart ached again for normalcy; to turn back the clock and erase all of the pain of the past year. All of the worry, the trauma, the heartache, the hopelessness, the fear.
And then the feelings morphed a little as I watched Logan and Isaac running together down the sidewalk. They're so close in stature right now that someone not in-the-know might assume that they're fraternal twins. But Logan kept pace with his little brother, and I suddenly became aware of the miracle inherent in the scene.
A year ago, we didn't know if Logan would still be with us today. Not only is he still here, but he's well enough to run along the sidewalk. He's small, frail and tires easily, but he's here. Despite my ongoing worries over his health status, he's come so far over the course of the past year. His tenacity, his maturity and so many other things about him astound me every single day. He's not just a 5-year old boy; he's a truly incredible person.
And he may not be going to Kindergarten this year as we'd always thought he would, but there are amazing things in store for him.