The Plan

I've been remiss with updates; I apologize. I've been doing a lot of thinking and praying and studying. I know that you all like to know what's going on and I certainly want you to be informed, but at the same time, I needed to take some time for intensive study.

Logan was finally released from CHO on Friday. His triglycerides are still about 1,000, which is still 10 to 12 times too high, but the medical team was comfortable enough with the number to let him go, as it remained stable over a few days following a second round of pheresis.

He returns Tuesday at 7 AM to undergo a spinal biopsy with Dr. S. Once the pathology from that comes back, we'll move forward once again.

He is, by and large, pretty miserable but hanging in there. He's paralyzed below the belly button, which is in the line with the lesion in his spine. As a result of that, he's incontinent, and his bladder doesn't empty itself effectively, so we had to learn to catheter him every three hours to prevent urine from backing up into his kidneys. He's also refusing to open his right eye; he keeps saying it feels like there's something in it. He *can* open it, but usually won't. The left side of his face is still paralyzed. He has a nosebleed from the right nostril probably 2 to 5 times a day, the result of low platelets which are probably the result of Avastin. (I've gotten to a point of pretty much despising Avastin, for what it's worth.) He doesn't sleep well at.all, and given the paralysis, wants to be re-positioned constantly because he can't sleep and is restless. I want to get him off the steroids ASAP since I feel like they've had a massive negative impact on him, but everything takes time.

Clearly, there's not a lot to be thankful for. No real points of light or places to look at him and think 'well, *that's* an improvement'. He looks terrible. He feels terrible. That's part of why I didn't want to post, to be honest. It's as if I could just feel the wave of 'oh my gosh, that poor kid is doomed' thoughts settling over us. But you know something? I don't care how things *look*. We proclaim him healed in the name of Jesus Christ, and believe that we'll see it happen. Don't get me wrong. It's very, very hard to look at the physical 'reality' we're faced with and believe it. But believing in your heart is so important -- just look at Matthew and Mark, when Jesus said we can move mountains if we believe and don't doubt. So I've been studying the Word and believing in the Truth. I hold to what I wrote last week about unbelief's toxic nature 100%.

Please don't give up on Logan. As his prayer partners, believe in your hearts that healing is here for him. The devil wants us to give up. He wants me to give up. But I can't. I will not give up on my son and I will not give up on his future here.

Please hold him and the surgeon and surgical team in prayer on Tuesday at 7 AM as he enters surgery once again. May God's hands guide those of the surgeon --as He did last year when Logan nearly bled to death in the OR-- and give the entire team wisdom beyond the human norm. Thank you for your prayers and for your belief.