It's a fact of human life that some people live easier lives than others. I am not one of those people. Those who know me well would probably agree that I've suffered more pains and dodged through more obstacles than most people my age. (And according to some people, more than some others have weathered throughout the courses of very, very long lives.) So, my experiences color my view of God. And honestly, they fully explain why I have a hard time --a colossally hard time-- believing that God is 100% good.
Call me unteachable or unreachable if you will, but I don't appreciate it when people who haven't walked in my shoes criticize me. It's extraordinarily easy to sit in an ivory tower and say things like 'oh, yes, God is good. Oh, yes, if He asked for my child I'd give him up straight away.' But I'm here to call that out as complete hogwash. It's hard to be me. It's hard to feel the terror I feel every morning. It's hard to trust God with Logan. And I'm here to tell you that unless you're some sort of saint, you too would struggle just as much as I do with our current reality. You'd long for people to say and do helpful, positive things. You'd shy away from criticisms and less than helpful --although no doubt well-intended-- remarks.
Anyway, I suppose there's no real point to this post, other than to say that unless you have something to share that will build me up, please don't say anything at all. I've asked --repeatedly-- that folks refrain from preaching at me. I've said --repeatedly-- that I want only healing prayers, and that if you feel the need to pray in other directions, feel free, but please don't chip away at my hope by sharing your plans with me.
I'm sorry. I'm a little raw. A little chafed. And a lot exhausted. And frankly (and with all due respect), most of you haven't a clue.
Hey Sherry, we don't know each other, but I just wanted you to know that there was no way on this earth that I was willing to give up my son when he was diagnosed. I knew it wasn't God's will for him to be sick - He wasn't the one trying to steal him from me. For me, the only option was to believe for his healing - if I had any other options, I may not have been able to remain set like flint. (Even so, it was God who gave me what I needed to believe and He will do the same for you.) I still stand on believing - it was important, I had to believe. So, I'm praying for you, and I know that God will help you with any unbelief! He knows your heart and He knows you are doing your best to trust Him. His grace is always sufficient and He is not wasting time judging you! He is far too busy loving you and being proud of you.
ReplyDeleteHaving said all of that, I was led to this blog post and thought I would share it with you. I know nothing about the author or how or what she believes - only what this one post says. Let it speak prophetically to your heart. I just happened upon it today. It is ONLY meant to encourage you and build you up. Stop at the prayer - the reflections give you something to do and the only one that I feel God wants you to do is this: Reflect on His wind wrapping around you and propelling you into the manifestation of vision. Here's the link: http://www.journalsoftheheart.com/2010/07/a-new-wind-of-god-is-blowing-day-five-face-into-the-wind/
Much love in Christ!
You have my love and prayers.
ReplyDeletewhat?! who are these people? give me their info so i can bash them...are you kidding? come on, people - let's be positive for Logan and Sherry and share nothing but the most positive of thoughts and prayers and goodness that they so desperately need.
ReplyDeletecome on people!!!
Praying for complete healing always for precious Logan! Also praying for the unbelief that threatens each and every one of us at different times. Praying for strength and belief for you and Adam.
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