Logan was released from CHO on Friday. And, to be blunt, he's a complete mess. He's having trouble swallowing so his mouth is almost always filled with spit and his speech is mostly unintelligible. He's clearly uncomfortable. His face is badly scratched and scabbed from the surgical tape that held his ng and intubation tubes in place during surgery last week. His hearing has gone from bad to utterly awful. And that's on top of every other problem he previously had. My little sunshine, my dear, sweet, couldn't-hurt-a-fly, loves-everyone little boy, is suffering mightily.
Right now, at 2:57 a.m., he's screaming in his bed. He picked at the same scar that he's picked at repeatedly for the last few months which of course opened the floodgates. Adam is holding tissues on it to stop the flow, but it's the same old story of late.
We're devastated. We've prayed ceaselessly for God to ease his suffering yet things only seem to get worse. If he weren't suffering, we could deal with the other complications. But seeing him in pain... it's like combating flaming arrows with no protection. The red-hot tips sink into our flesh and tear at it with a brutality like no other weapon. (And yes, the reference to Ephesians is deliberate, bear with me.)
Still, we call upon the Lord. We read healing scripture over him multiple times each day and command evil to leave him alone in the name of Christ. This battle that we fight is beyond intense. And it's extraordinarily personal. If you Believe with a capital B, please join our prayers. Prayers that the disease and evil plaguing him would be banished by the authority of Christ. Claims of authority over the malfunctioning parts of his body --which are almost too many to number-- commanding them to function as they were designed by God to function. The prayer WARRIORS among you will know what I mean here.
We must take the authority given to us by the power of the Holy Spirit. We must take it and use it. Because it's not all about God fulfilling his perfect plan. No, I don't think God's will always comes to pass on this earth. (And truthfully, if anyone among you thinks that what's happened to our family is God's doing, I feel for you because God is a God of love and compassion who desires to give us a future and hope. I believe He's more than dismayed over the sustained separation, fear and grief we've experienced over the past 17 months. No, I would argue that it's an insult to God to assert that the mess we've lived and continue to live are according to His will for us. So don't even go there.) Right now, it's about using the tools with which God equipped us to fight off evil when it strikes. And it's most definitely striking NOW.