Logan was released from CHO on Friday. And, to be blunt, he's a complete mess. He's having trouble swallowing so his mouth is almost always filled with spit and his speech is mostly unintelligible. He's clearly uncomfortable. His face is badly scratched and scabbed from the surgical tape that held his ng and intubation tubes in place during surgery last week. His hearing has gone from bad to utterly awful. And that's on top of every other problem he previously had. My little sunshine, my dear, sweet, couldn't-hurt-a-fly, loves-everyone little boy, is suffering mightily.
Right now, at 2:57 a.m., he's screaming in his bed. He picked at the same scar that he's picked at repeatedly for the last few months which of course opened the floodgates. Adam is holding tissues on it to stop the flow, but it's the same old story of late.
We're devastated. We've prayed ceaselessly for God to ease his suffering yet things only seem to get worse. If he weren't suffering, we could deal with the other complications. But seeing him in pain... it's like combating flaming arrows with no protection. The red-hot tips sink into our flesh and tear at it with a brutality like no other weapon. (And yes, the reference to Ephesians is deliberate, bear with me.)
Still, we call upon the Lord. We read healing scripture over him multiple times each day and command evil to leave him alone in the name of Christ. This battle that we fight is beyond intense. And it's extraordinarily personal. If you Believe with a capital B, please join our prayers. Prayers that the disease and evil plaguing him would be banished by the authority of Christ. Claims of authority over the malfunctioning parts of his body --which are almost too many to number-- commanding them to function as they were designed by God to function. The prayer WARRIORS among you will know what I mean here.
We must take the authority given to us by the power of the Holy Spirit. We must take it and use it. Because it's not all about God fulfilling his perfect plan. No, I don't think God's will always comes to pass on this earth. (And truthfully, if anyone among you thinks that what's happened to our family is God's doing, I feel for you because God is a God of love and compassion who desires to give us a future and hope. I believe He's more than dismayed over the sustained separation, fear and grief we've experienced over the past 17 months. No, I would argue that it's an insult to God to assert that the mess we've lived and continue to live are according to His will for us. So don't even go there.) Right now, it's about using the tools with which God equipped us to fight off evil when it strikes. And it's most definitely striking NOW.
I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you. There are just no words. I will continue to pray with you and claim healing for Logan.
ReplyDeleteSaying "I'm sorry" just seems so inadequate. Sending you prayers and strength.
ReplyDeleteKris from LJ
Praying, friends. Praying for healing, strength, wisdom, comfort, peace... praying for you all. Much love and heartache.
ReplyDeleteBELIEVING with ALL CAPS, and Praying, Crying out to God to heal sweet Logan. Friends (many who have never met Logan and live across the country) have let me know that they continue lifting Logan up to God and passing on the need for intense prayer to the prayer warriors they know as well). It feels as though it's not enough, but that is satan whispering in my ear. Praying is the best thing all of us far and wide in God's family can do to help Logan. Still, I wish I was nearer and could help out with physical hands.
ReplyDeleteSo much love to you guys Sherry, and unceasing prayers.
Love, love, love...and tears...and prayers...and more love.
ReplyDelete(from Kim)"Sherry, I've been following your blog through your writing friends. Your strength and love shine through and I feel horrible that the suffering you're going through for your son -- with your son -- is so unbearably intense. My own children have prayed for Logan, who is truly a beautiful soul.
ReplyDeleteSending you love, strength, and love. Miracles happen -- your family is proof of it -- you've got each other to hang on to.
(Kim Morgan)"
Praying so hard for Logan..... xoxo
ReplyDeleteSherry - you are living and doing the WORD!
ReplyDeleteYou have been strong in the Lord and the power of his might. You have put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. You know that your struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, authorities, and powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. You have put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes (and it has), you may be able to stand your ground (and you have), so all you have to do now is stand firm, with the belt of truth (you know it and believe it) buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place (you are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus), with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith (out of the living water it has been dipped in), so you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation (your hope) and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God (and you have spoken it - the Word that God speaks is alive and full of power [making it active, operative, energizing, and effective]; it is sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating to the dividing line of the breath of life (soul) and [the immortal] spirit, and of joints and marrow [of the deepest parts of our nature], exposing and sifting and analyzing and judging the very thoughts and purposes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12 AMP). And you have prayed in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. You have prayed for others. You have opened your mouth (here) and have fearlessly made known the mystery of the gospel, for which you are an ambassador in chains.
Praying that you labor now to enter His rest. When I went to find this verse for you - I was amazed at where it was! Right above the other one I inserted for you in the middle of the armor passage...
So then, there is still awaiting a full and complete Sabbath-rest reserved for the [true] people of God; For he who has once entered [God's] rest also has ceased from [the weariness and pain] of human labors, just as God rested from those labors peculiarly His own. Let us therefore be zealous and exert ourselves and strive diligently to enter that rest [of God, to know and experience it for ourselves], that no one may fall or perish by the same kind of unbelief and disobedience [into which those in the wilderness fell]. Hebrews 4:9-11 AMP
He's for you Sherry. Oh how He loves you. Rest in Him. From experience, I know that can be maddening. HOW?! That was my question. I found my answer in His love for me.
TRUTH can not be changed and it supercedes whatever nasty facts present themselves.
Hi Sherry,
DeleteI'm just replying to this one to echo what she (Michele) said, because I think she hit the nail on the head. REST, as impossible as that seems, is where we see the victory manifest in our lives. As we cease the struggle of our own (that doesn't mean you lie down and take it, it just means that as you battle, you KNOW you HAVE won this because God SAID that you ARE more than conquerors through Him), God's Word effectively works in our lives.
I truly cannot echo this one in particular enough: "TRUTH can not be changed and it supercedes whatever nasty facts present themselves." This is the single most piercing truth God has been planting in my heart lately. COME from that place of already accomplished victory. You are commanding evil to depart, not because they still lord over Logan, but because they are ILLEGALLY doing so. And when you stand in who you are in Christ, they do not see you, Sherry - they see JESUS. They recognize Him as the One Who defeated them and paraded them.
I know it seems impossible, but focus not on yourself, just on Him. I am in awe that in the midst of all of this, you still see the truth, when many who have not walked your shoes can confidently say that God loves them - no ands, ifs or buts. You KNOW that out of love for us, He went through ALL the trouble, pain, suffering, and MADE us sit in Him - victory, healing, wholeness. Whether we can see that with our physical eyes right now or not, that IS the truth - the TRUTH that cannot be changed, and supercedes whatever you are facing in the physical right now.
Continue to stand in that, Sherry. I, and the girls, stand with you. As we call God's work finished and non-negotiable, your circumstances will change.
When Moses (Exodus 17) could not lift his hands on his own anymore, Aaron and Hur stood and lifted his hands for him. That always stood out to me as such a symbolic picture of how us believers are supposed to help each other. When you feel your hands starting to hang, we will uphold them for you, Sherry. We will praise Him with you in advance, for the victory that is certainly yours - now and in the future.
xo,
Yoojin
My heart breaks for all of you as you watch your dear Logan suffer like this, Sherry, and as you suffer with him. I am praying that God's arms of comfort, hope, and His peace that passes all understanding hold you all close to Himself.
ReplyDeletePraying, praying, praying.
ReplyDeleteSending you all my love, Sherry, and praying for Logan. I'm devastated to hear this. My whole being is reaching out to touch you. Praying and hoping for good news.
ReplyDeleteHi Sherry, I have friends who have walked this same path with their sweet daughter, Jenna. They strongly recommended a group called "We Can" that has a chapter in Oakland. Www.wecan.cc You may have already heard if it. She and her husband would also be happy to talk with you and Adam, if you would like. They are strong Believers too. Just wanted to let you know...you may already have plenty of contacts. Praying for you all.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry this is happening to you and your family. I have never met you but my 6 year old son and I am pray for Logan everyday. I am always thinking about him.
ReplyDelete