On the Logan front, things aren't particularly rosy. Despite incessant prayers that things would improve, they've only gotten worse. He's having increasing difficulty with walking and with bowel incontinence. As usual, we don't know why these things are happening. And the fact that they are happening has taken me to a new place in terms of figuring out what I believe with respect to faith, healing and Christianity.
It's become apparent to me that modern Christianity features two very different factions when it comes to healing: Those who believe that we can exact healing via belief and action of the Holy Spirit (a.k.a. those who truly believe --with their whole hearts-- that we can cast mountains into the sea), and those who don't. My heart wants to believe that the former is true. The notion gives me comfort. And honestly, the thought draws me closer to God. When I've been able to embrace the concept, I've spent more time in the Word and felt more confident in my faith. When I haven't believed it to be true, I've felt a sense of hopeless reticence. A sense of why would I bother to pray if my prayers don't matter?
It's very hard for me to look at my sunshine now and believe that he could ever be okay again. He's suffering. Yet we cry out every day, multiple times a day, for God to have mercy on him. It's maddening to watch what's happened to him. It's maddening to not know what's going on that's causing the problems with walking and incontinence.
I'm asking you all to have faith in healing for Logan. I'm asking you to pray for God to have mercy on my sunshine and make him miraculously well. I'm not asking you to pray a simple, non-committal 'thy will be done' prayer. It sounds weird, I'm sure, but God WANTS us to ask for what our hearts desire. My heart desires healing and nothing less. So please: Ask for it. Ask for improvements in his mobility. For healing of his damaged spinal column. For restoration and renewal. For life here on this earth. Because regardless of my weariness and sadness and hopelessness, I know that God hears those prayers and that they matter. So please, I beg you to send them up. I also remind you very seriously that there is a spiritual component to Logan's health battle, and ask you to take up your armor in his defense. He's SO worthy. I can't tell you how worthy he is.
Thank you for being a part of Logan's team.