I admit that I'm still a little worried because he's still experiencing the facial palsy and we don't know what caused (or is causing, given that it's ongoing) the nerve inflammation. Although Dr. T scoured the literature and never found anything suggesting that it could be related to the Avastin, my mommy's heart is nervous anyway. I thank you for praying for complete, lasting healing and for protection from additional side effects of the medications he takes.
I have a lot I more that I could say, but I'm especially tired this evening. Before I go, though, I do want to relay a little tidbit that I off-handedly shared with a friend this morning. She thought it would make a worthy entry, so here goes.
As a Christian, I'm very familiar with the scriptural references that tell us to come to Jesus when we're weary. In need of rest. Broken-hearted. The concept came up again during the church service this past weekend (I can't remember exactly when, to be honest; and if I'm really honest, I'm not sure if it was actually spoken aloud or if the words were merely spoken directly to my heart). When I felt those familiar words, I had my usual kneejerk reaction: But I don't want to be broken-hearted. Just as I did what I always do --tried to emotionally pull away-- I felt more words cross my heart: But you're already broken-hearted. Why do you think your heart will break even more? Come rest!
I suppose it's a pretty basic concept: Come to Me and I will give you rest. But it's hard to do it because it's hard to admit that we're broken people; that our hearts are broken on a regular basis and that we're in need of rest. In need of healing. In need of restoration. I've spent a lot of time not wanting to rest in God because I've feared that doing so would somehow make me even more broken-hearted. It's silly, right?
Anyway, if this is you -- if you're resisting rest because you share my misguided notion that resting shows weakness or that doing so will increase your heartbreak, reconsider.
I'm not particularly thrilled with the way the past few paragraphs read, but the bare bones of what my heart wants to tell you is there, so I hope it speaks to someone.
Thank you so much for being part of Logan's team, for believing that we have the power, through Christ and the Holy Spirit, to move mountains, for hanging with me even when I seem like I've left the reservation, and for believing in healing. Love to you all.