I've also made no bones about expressing my desire for Logan's healing. As a direct result of that heartfelt, heart-driven desire, I've called on you to act as intercessors on his behalf. I've called on you to plead for healing, for mercy, for peace. I feel a profound sense of gratitude to all of you who have faithfully honored that request, taken up the armor of God Ephesians-style, and gone to war for my little sunshine.
With all of that said, I have to take a risk here and be honest about what doesn't help me. I get frustrated when I ask for intercessory prayer and meet with resistance. If you're not willing to pray for Logan's healing, please don't share your decision with me. It hurts me, it strips away my hope, it leaves me feeling alone and defeated. And I don't deserve that.
A huge part of this battle for me is a mental one. Do I have the faith to believe in healing? Do I have the faith to believe that God desires wellness? Do I have the faith to get up tomorrow morning and go about the business of life when we've been so badly battered by disease and uncertainty for the last year and a half? I want to have that faith. I want to have that belief. I thirst for it. But it's hard; harder than I can express via the written word. Does God NEED to know that lots of people want Logan to be well? Nah. But the knowledge, as a parent, gives me a sense of hope. I don't know why, exactly, but it does.
Anyway, I just wanted to get that out there. I cannot give up. I have to believe. I thank you for your intercessory prayers and for being true warriors for my son and our family.