The Me-Do-Its

Although he's speech-delayed, Isaac makes regular use of a few choice pet phrases. His favorite (frequently used in conjunction with NO) is 'me do it.'

Me: Isaac, bring me your cup and I'll pour you some milk.
Isaac: NO! Me do it.

Me: Let me fix the velcro on your shoes, buddy.
Isaac: NO! Me do it.

Me: [watching Isaac approach Brady with his arms outstretched, ready to scoop baby up Elmira-from-Tiny-Toons style] Wait! I'll pick him up. I'm coming.
Isaac: NO! ME DO IT!

I'm hardly a parenting rodeo newbie, so I know that the Me-Do-Its are a normal part of development, as annoying as they may be at times. They help to develop a sense of competence, a sense of independence, a sense of self. But I had something of a profound thought this morning. (At least, it seemed profound as I was sipping my coffee from Mickey D's and watching my third episode of Clifford's Puppy Days on PBS Kids.)

My son's Me-Do-Its are really no different than my own.

Say what? Yup, it's true. Just yesterday, I waxed philosophical about the metaphorical bag of rocks I've been carrying around since Logan's diagnosis. I talked about how I've given the big old backpack to God to carry for me several times now, only to snatch it back again. Instead of the mom-to-two-year-old dialog snippets I click-clacked above, the God-and-me soundbytes look more like this:

God: Let me carry that burden for you. It looks heavy.
Me: NO! Me do it.

God: If you'll just let me have the backpack, I can dump out all of the stones for you. It's too heavy for you to empty it yourself.
Me: NO! Me do it.

See, I may be 33 years old, but I'm still a toddler to God. Instead of letting Him do what He does better than anyone on earth -- parent me -- I'm trying to handle it all on my own. When he tries to lessen my load, I clench my fists, grit my teeth, grip my backback straps and hiss No! Me do it.

But the reality is that just as Isaac can't tie his own shoes (yet) or pour his own milk without spilling half a gallon on the linoleum, I can't carry the burden of Logan's illness and its repercussions on my own. So today, I'm trying to quell my own Me-Do-Its and let God carry my backpack... for a little while.