The selfish part of me who's exhausted after dealing with terrifying health problems for so long is angry that they couldn't --or just wouldn't-- bump someone with a less pressing issue. Someone who hadn't endured over a year of emotional torture and near-endless worry to get him in today. But that didn't happen so I have to get over it.
The left-sided facial weakness definitely became more pronounced over the weekend and it affects, to one degree or another, the entire side of his face. When I ask him to close his eyes, the left one doesn't close all the way unless I tell him to squeeze them closed. His trademark grin is horribly lopsided. I've tormented myself looking for explanations that aren't frightening, but haven't come up with much in the way of comforting information. The least upsetting piece of info I've come across is the revelation that there are nearly 50 potential causes for partial facial palsy.
I keep thinking back to when it started. It frustrates me to realize that apparently I've been less of a shutterbug over the past few weeks than usual, because there are very few photos available to help tease out the date of origin. I do have a particularly sweet one from the 9th that puts his big grin on display, but that's really the most recent shot I have available. My sense is that it began in earnest last week, after he had the lumbar puncture and his ears drained. Part of me wonders if somehow, having his ears cleaned out led to a blockage that's causing the palsy. After all, middle ear infections can lead to this kind of thing. But I don't know. And it's pointless to speculate and drive myself crazy.
I'm really sick of the ongoing issues Logan has faced. Angry. Tired. Frustrated. Even a little betrayed. And I'm once again calling on the God of healing to show up in a mighty way for my sweet, endlessly afflicted boy.