About Us

Our family of 6 (dad Adam, mom Sherry, big sister Abby and little brothers Isaac and Brady -- who was born on December 14, 2010) joined the ranks of pediatric cancer fighters when our 4-year old son Logan was diagnosed with a dangerous and highly malignant form of brain cancer in mid-August 2010. Logan's cancer journey began abruptly on Sunday, August 15, when his right eye suddenly turned inward during dinner. Twenty-four hours later, we were checking into Children's Hospital Oakland and finding out that life sometimes takes you places you'd never, ever imagine yourself going.

Saturday, November 12, 2011


I haven't had a good day. I'm disappointed in myself for not being able to overcome the fear and anger and resentment, but I know that I need to cut myself some slack. I am not, after all, a superhuman. I'm just your average mom stuck in what amounts to hell on earth.

Adam called CHO after a few hours had passed and we hadn't heard back, and we were told to increase Logan's decadron level. To its original dose. I feel so defeated and angry over this. Why is God not healing my son? Why is He letting this happen? Why is life so hard for us? Why are we being forced to put him back on the drug that I hate more than any other drug in existence? The one that makes him moody and unable to sleep? It makes no sense to me. I can't make it make sense, no matter how hard I try.

Were I a wiser, more positive, more faithful person, I might go back to something I wrote long ago and say that it's all okay because bad circumstances just give God a chance to show Himself in undeniable ways. But I'm not that person anymore. In some ways, I'm better. In others, I'm horribly, inexorably jaded. I've seen suffering in the face of my own flesh and blood; in the eyes of one I carried in my own womb. Headlines alleging child abuse and discord make my stomach turn in ways I can't describe; they bring about a sense of rage that's hard to quell. Why are babies dying at the hands of the people who are supposed to love and protect them while I'm struggling --sacrificing just about everything-- to keep mine alive? There's no justice. There's just no justice, no fairness, no equality in this world. I used to think there was, but now I know better.

One of the things that makes me maddest is not knowing why he's lost bladder control. Is it the radiation damage, or is something else going on? I wish they'd image him so we'd just know, once and for all, what exactly is going on inside his back. I hate not knowing. Adam said I could call and share that with the doctors at CHO, but I refrained, in part because I can't hear well right now (courtesy of my ear infection, which currently has me deaf on the right side) and in part because I'm not good at asserting myself.

Sigh. I guess have nothing truly productive to say. I feel, once again, as if I'm going out of my skin. And I'm waiting on God to do something truly mighty, monumental. I'm not a terribly vain person nor do I feel entitled, but damnit, my son deserves better than this. My other children deserve better than this.


  1. I have no words of wisdom. I've questioned myself, my God, my faith and more during my current medical ordeal. Some things may never make sense to us. I do, however, believe there is a reason, a method to the apparent madness, in everything that happens. We just don't always get to see what it is. It's little comfort when your child suffers, when you suffer, I know. Stay as strong as you can and know that questioning and anger and frustration are all normal parts of the process. You have my prayers and positive thoughts.


  2. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Sherry. It's not much, but know that I'm always thinking about you and praying for Logan. Hugs a million times.

  3. Sherry, I have too much to say in writing... I wonder if you would be able to give me a call tonight? I have been thinking of you a lot lately, and what I want to share, I couldn't do it justice in written words, I'm afraid.

    Can you email me, at yoojin228 at hotmail dot com? I'm pretty much free for the rest of the night.

    I know you're tired and busy, but I hope you'll reach out.


  4. Sherry, I prayed and told God I had no encouraging words to say to you. (My heart hurts because you all are hurting. I don't know why Logan is suffering so much and not healing, why you have an ear infection and cannot hear out of your right ear, and why your family is being bombarded with many stresses.) Then, I felt impressed to read Isaiah 40:10, "See the Sovereign Lord comes with power, and His arm rules for Him. See, His reward is with Him, and His recompense accompanies Him. He tends to His flock like a shepherd; He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young." I pray this over you and your family. Over Logan. I pray Logan will be close to God during his suffering and that God will be close to him. With much love, Lara~

  5. My heart just aches for you, Logan and your entire family. You have every right to feel anger and doubt.

  6. Thoughts and payers are with you, Logan and your family. I wish something I could say could ease your pain but I know it wouldn't even come close. I am repeating Lara's prayer for you and Logan and your family. We love you Sherry.