Monday

The past few days have been filled with mixed blessings. On one hand, Logan has continued to gradually --and slowly-- improve. His bilirubin level is just outside of normal range, his weight has stabilized at a more typical number, his oxygen needs have decreased to 5 litres (down from a previous high of 15) and he simply looks better overall. So we're deeply grateful for all of that. In addition, Adam's younger brother Eric married his high school sweetheart yesterday, tying the bow of permanence on their 11-year on-again, off-again (but mostly on!) relationship. So a heartfelt welcome to Emily; we're so glad to have you as a member of the family. And a huge thank you to Lisa, Jen, Sarah and Mary for staying with Logan so the rest of us could attend and rest --if only minimally-- knowing that he was in good care in our absence.

But good days like yesterday come with a hefty emotional cost for us. Since Logan is still hospitalized, he was unable to attend. And the bittersweetness of the day was a lot to bear for me, though I hope I never let on how much my heart was pained by his absence. When the ceremony started, I remembered how Logan had be-bopped his way down the aisle as my dear friend Cindy's ring bearer two years ago, and wondered if his behavior would've been different this time. When Isaac went crazy on the dancefloor during the reception (he's totally going to join a band one day if his ardent admiration for the wedding singers is an indication of future goals), I realized how alike the two boys are, and I visualized how it would've been had they been tearing it up as a pair. I know Logan would've loved every second of the day. And it hurt me that he wasn't there.

Additionally, his health still isn't perfect, and we still don't know for sure when he'll be released. The doctors attempted to wean him completely from his morphene drip yesterday, and it didn't go well. Apparently the minimal .1 continuous dose was extraordinarily helpful, as he had a rough night and threw up a number of times. The basal rate was reinstated today, however, and by the time I arrived at 5:30, he looked like a million bucks. I know you're wondering: What does Logan looking like a million bucks look like these days? Here's a video from this evening; it features my sunshine doing his impression of Joey Tribbiani (I'd imbed it, but it's uploaded directly from my phone. You don't need a YouTube account to view it): How YOU doin'?

Abby asks every night for God to "please, please touch Logan and completely heal him so he'll be well again", and given its beautiful simplicity, I feel no pressing need to modify that request as I pass it on to you. Please pray that prayer along with us. I feel it when others pray for us. Conversely, I feel it when those prayers wane. We need a wave of prayers to wash over us and over Logan in order to keep our momentum up. It's an utterly exhausting path to take.

Thank you and good night.