About Us

Our family of 6 (dad Adam, mom Sherry, big sister Abby and little brothers Isaac and Brady -- who was born on December 14, 2010) joined the ranks of pediatric cancer fighters when our 4-year old son Logan was diagnosed with a dangerous and highly malignant form of brain cancer in mid-August 2010. Logan's cancer journey began abruptly on Sunday, August 15, when his right eye suddenly turned inward during dinner. Twenty-four hours later, we were checking into Children's Hospital Oakland and finding out that life sometimes takes you places you'd never, ever imagine yourself going.

Monday, May 23, 2011

May 23

A friend remarked this afternoon, in her charming Scottish accent, that if she didn't know me personally, she'd never believe that our story as it's played out in recent months was true. I'm living it and I feel the same way. It's been completely unreal. But I think that's what happens during an intense spiritual battle: The stops are pulled out and bizarre things happen. So here and now, I ask you, beg you, to once again re-up your efforts on our --on Logan's-- behalf. Please. Don't just say 'I'm praying for you'; actually DO it. Because Logan needs you. Because we all need you; we need our friends ot strap on their armor Ephesians-style and go to battle with us. I don't say this judgmentally; I simply remember times in the past when I've casually commented 'oh, I'll pray for you' and then not done it. We need the prayers. Desperately.

Just to give a sampling of the past few weeks' events, I've had two personal computers completely destroyed by a particularly virulent virus; Logan developed VOD and is still hospitalized indefinitely; my wallet was stolen and the thief charged nearly $1,000 to my credit cards, which I had to cancel; Abby was diagnosed with an ear infection yesterday and while there, the doctor noted a rash on her neck and suggested that we check her glucose levels, since said rash can be indicative of Type 1 Diabetes; and this morning, I found Isaac asleep in a dried puddle of vomit. Now this last item may seem inocuous enough, but inexplicable vomiting --and he didn't act sick today, so it IS indeed mysterious-- strikes fear into the hearts of brain tumor parents, since it can be indicative of a mass.

This is NOT normal. I look enviously at the lives of most of my friends and neighbors, quietly coveting the simplicity that seems to define their days, and wonder why our collective family life has gone into such a tailspin; why we're on the Teacup ride from hell. I'm trying, as Heidi urged me, to remind myself that God thinks I matter, but it's hard. It's hard to have faith, but I'm hanging on by the tips of my toes, the skin of my teeth and every other silly expression there is for 'just barely sliding by with my sanity reasonably intact'.

It's a brutal battle, but I know that ultimately, God is in control and is on OUR SIDE. God is very much in the business of healing, and I believe that he WANTS to heal Logan. As a matter of fact, I believe that God Himself assured me of that a few days ago. I was IMing a friend and I made that very statement, but when the text appeared in the dialog box, the word 'wants' had been mysteriously bolded. And as I remarked to my friend, I don't even know how to bold text in the Facebook IM program.

Even as I write all of this, I fear judgment. I know that some of you probably think I've fallen off the proverbial turnip truck. And that has to be okay, even if it pains me to feel like someone may think I've lost it. I'm merely living out faith as I see it; faith is believing in things when they seem unlikely or even impossible. It's throwing your whole heart into believing, it's getting out of the boat, it's trusting with your heart when your head screams No way, you idiot!. It's facing challenges --and battles-- and offering them up to God instead of trying to fight them by myself. It's taking a risk and asking for prayers and being truthful even though I fear that judgment.


I've been challenged by Mark 11:22-24 for weeks now. The passage reads:



"'Have faith in God' Jesus answered. 'I tell you the truth: If anyone says to this mountain 'go, throw yourself into the sea' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayers, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours'."



And this is where the rubber meets the road for me: Do I believe it's valid? Do I believe that the scripture here is true, or a lie? Because it can't be both; it's either fully truth or fully false. And if I believe it's true, do I dare to act on it? Do I dare to believe? I need to get out of the boat. I've felt that deeply lately. I need to embrace this scripture. But I've also been convicted that prayer is absolutely essential when it comes to Logan's healing, so I come once again to Logan's Army.

Thanks for sticking with me through this long-winded entry, and for being a member of Logan's team. Thank you for praying for his complete healing; for the health of each of the rest of us; for peace, for strength, for wisdom, for perseverance, for hope, for amped-up, crazy faith. We want that testimony. We want to share it with the world. We want to put our stranger-than-fiction journey out there as a testament to the power of the Creator.

Blessings to you and yours.

9 comments:

  1. Never fear judgement Sherry. You drive with your heart, you act out of love, and are guided by faith. It doesn't matter what anyone says. Stick by your intuition, stay true to your family, and continue to be strong.

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  2. Oh, how our heavenly Father is smiling at you right now! Grace and peace to you sister. The road may feel lonely, but you are not alone. Your sisters and brothers in Christ (whether you know them or not) are standing in faith with you, holding up your weary arms in victory! No matter what you see with your eyes, hear with your ears, or feel with your emotions, victory IS yours in Christ Jesus! It is by His stripes that Logan is healed. Logan will not die but LIVE and will proclaim what the LORD has done! That's a scripture - Psalm 118:17 - it was one of our favorites to stand on for Brenton and we've stood on it for many others as well! Dare to believe. : )

    Only believe,
    Only believe,
    ALL things are possible,
    ONLY BELIEVE!

    Sing it to the tune of The Farmer in the Dell. Let it stick in your head and sink into your spirit. All things are possible with God and to those who beLIeVE!! Mark 9:23 & 10:27

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  3. I just did it (prayed for Logan).

    Kris

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  4. Dear heavenly father, I pray for healing in their household, I pray for strength for everyone, physically, mentally, spiritually Lord, shower your protection upon them in Jesus Name...Amen

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  5. How do you convince someone that faith can move mountains? Words alone seem unworthy and unless you have firsthand experience of the transforming power of accepting Jesus as the Lord of your life - it can be a futile attempt. But, I have been in the valley, Sherry, and I know firsthand that when you believe with all of your heart and every ounce of your soul that God will make a way - He always does.
    We continue to lift you, your family and dear little Logan up in our prayers. I told you once that I printed his picture and placed it next to my computer so I would remember to pray for him (and you) daily. The picture is still here. I am looking at his sweet face right now and God is confirming that the mountains will move. much love, michele starkey

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  6. Sherry,
    I always hesitate in using scripture as a "comment" to one of your posts, only because I know how I can take it ("easy for you to say" kind of way) coming from someone who is not actively fighting the same fight as I am. That being said, I think (and I know you agree from things you've said previously in posts) that God can put a verse or a thought or a message on someone's heart to relay or to pray over their friend that is enduring a crisis.
    Our sermon last weekend was (and has been) out of the book of Ephesians, and the series is entitled "Allies - Creating a Life where someone has your back." Allies!!! That's what we are, that's what God is, that's what all of Logan's prayer partners are! And who are we fighting against?? Exactly who you've named several times. Satan himself - trying to keep this spiritual battle on a high level at all times.
    The verse I wrote down that I am praying over you and your whole family, and dear sweet Logan, is Ephesians 3:14-20. It's "labeled" as Paul's prayer for Spiritual Growth, but if you just read the words and let them wash over you I think they just resonate as being a kind, kind reminder of what you just said in your post - that His word is the truth and that through Him and His power at work within us, things can be accomplished that are infinitely MORE than we can ask or even think!
    I will post a separate comment that has the whole scripture on it in just a minute :)
    I am praying this scripture over your family and pleading with God to show us BIG and TANGIBLE things to point out victory on OUR side!
    Love you all, sending big hugs your way.

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  7. Ephesians 3:14-20
    When I think of all of this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
    Now all of the glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think."

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  8. I continue to pray for Logan, you, and the rest of your family, daily (or more often), really and truly with all my heart. May our Lord bless you with complete healing, and soon.

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  9. I haven't posted a comment in awhile, but I wanted to assure you that I am still praying for Logan, and I have asked others to pray for him, as well.

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