I've hedged on whether or not I should post this for some time, not because I don't believe that it's true or worthy of its own little spot in cyberspace, but because I didn't want to make anyone feel badly. In fact, I've bent over backward for the past year to keep from offending anyone. After all, I could never conscionably write anything that might make anyone go away. But now, while we're in something of a restful place with Logan's illness (and I say 'something' of one because I don't know that I'll ever feel fully at rest ever again during this life), I feel like it needs to be said, not for my benefit, but for that of those blessed souls who will one day find themselves on this journey we've been on. Before I begin, I extend my heartfelt thanks to all of you for continuing to read along, for praying for us, and for being our silent support system. You're an invaluable collective blessing to us.
I've had more than one fellow mama remark to me that they'd started to follow Logan's story but found it 'too close' emotionally to continue. I can understand that. I've walked away, so to speak, from similar situations in the past. It's a human thing to do, I understand why folks do it, and I respect the decision to do so.
That said, I challenge you to stretch yourself. To not walk away from someone who's facing a tough time. To make a conscious decision to be there to talk, read or even just listen and nod for someone who desperately needs a friend. It's horrible when your friends disappear, when the notes stop coming, when it feels like very few people care that your world is crashing down around you.
I can tell you one thing: It's not an easy thing to do. It's a task to stand in the gap for someone, realizing that that person will be unable to repay your kindness, watching them struggle and suffer and wondering if your efforts are genuinely appreciated. But it's such a vital task to perform. I only ask that should an opportunity arise, you be open to playing that role in a tangible way in your everyday life.
With that out of the way, I'll move on. Things around here are a-okay for now. Logan has energy to spare, and at yesterday's BMT (bone marrow transplant) clinic visit, the nurse coordinator told Adam that since he's doing so well --yet to require a transfusion and numbers low but steady-- he'll be transferred back to oncology sometime next week. Within the next few weeks, we'll meet with his primary to give consent to start some oral, 'just in case' chemo meds at home.
As for prayers, I have a few requests. The first and foremost, of course, is for health and complete healing for Logan. Despite the 'we think it's clean' interpretation of the MRI, it's hard not to worry. I'm doing what I can to let it go, realizing that life is meant to be LIVED and not frittered away via worries, but I am who I am. I've always been Type A and susceptible to health concerns and it's hard to just flip a switch and make my mind stop meandering along its well-ingrained path. We also need to feel peace and comfort. I loved the feeling of thanksgiving and gratitude I felt last week; I want to keep feeling that into the future. Finally, we could use prayers for the transition back to a 'normal' sort of life. Not that our life will ever be what it once was, but that we'll adjust well to what it is now.
I'll close with a thought that's been percolating in my brain for a few days now. I spent the time between August of 2010 and June of 2011 actively, aggressively interceding for my son, and I asked all of you to do the same. Every breath was a prayer some days. Since the MRI results came in last week, I've found myself slipping back into a less prayerful state. But I don't think that's the way life is supposed to be: I think we're always supposed to be vigilant prayer warriors, even when things look sunny and inocuous on the outside. Even when it seems as if the seas ahead are smooth and there isn't a cloud in the sky. So I'm going to pick up my armor once again, and ask you to do the same for Logan, and for the others in your life who are in need.
Thank you once again for your prayers. Have a relaxing weekend.
We are always including Logan and your entire family in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your asking others to be more aware of their actions and to truly be there for their friends when they are in need. Not enough people are aware of the need to just "be" there when their friends are hurting.
ReplyDeletePraying that your family finds itself in the midst of "normalcy" without even having to think about it! That Logan is well!
Have been praying lately for exactly what you have just asked for, complete healing for Logan, a return to normalcy for the entire family, peace and comfort for you all. Your thoughts about staying close by those in need and not turning away were good encouragement.
ReplyDeleteI am always checking your blog for updates on Logan and I will continue to do so. I have Logan and your family in my prayers. I am glad Logan is home and doing well and I hope you can return to your "new" normal and enjoy life as a family once again.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right, Sherry. Although I agree it's hard to always, always be "vigilant" prayer warriors, I think it's so important and what God would love us to be. Logan has been my inspiration for being that over this past year. We've had a lot on our plates as a family, but every time I thought about Logan I have *wanted* to pray for him first. Not to say that other prayer requests weren't as important or (some) as urgent, but I *felt* God putting Logan there all of the time, and I think there was/still is a reason for that. I will not back down from it. We are still praying wholeheartedly and often for him and for all of you.
ReplyDeleteI understand that it's hard for some people (especially other moms who have children and may or may not have faced health trials with them) to confront the realities and the fears of illness, and to jump in heart-first with prayers when it can be less heart-wrenching and easier to walk away or act as though others will "take care of it" .... however, I just don't understand how one can learn of a child (especially someone who you know and care for) who is suffering from cancer and start a journey of prayer for them, and then just walk the other direction. I have spent many nights awake (NOT as many as you, I don't want to sound all holier than thou here, that's not my point :) praying for Logan and just thinking about him. I've also cried more over him and this trial you have all been enduring over the past year more than many other tough things I've gone through in my life. But I would never have been able to know he was going through this, and turn away. That would feel worse than ANYthing else. I feel honored to have met you all last year, and honored that God let me play a role (albeit, unfortunately due to long distance and low finances, a small role) in your guys' journey. It's painful and I still wish he never had to go through it (just not at the point to be able to say that I'm thakful for it...duh). But we will still be here, praying for him, for all of your beautiful family.
So much love to you guys. Thank you for continuing to update even though I'm sure life continues to be crazy on a daily basis :)
Just thinking of you all, Sherry.
ReplyDeleteKris
Sherry, I just completed a series of cancer stories for the local newspaper and the survivors had a very similar request. I heard time and time again, "Why don't people call? Why do loved ones and friends not call to listen, pray or encourage?" I think people just don't know what to do.
ReplyDeleteWe continue to pray that Logan is "whole and healed"
much love, michele starkey