But it's not all bad. As I was driving to CHO on Monday, engaged in my usual grudge match with God, I finally ran out of things to yell and went silent. I felt enveloped in a sense of hopelessness until an old familiar thought came back to me: Although we're in an unenviable position right now --I know full well that no one reading this would change places with us!-- we're also in a unique place to see God move in ways that the great majority of the population will never experience firsthand. So I'm waiting on that.
I've also been working on claiming and believing, with my entire heart, Mark 11:22-24. In exploring my feelings, I've come to the conclusion that I fear embracing that scripture for two reasons. For one, I fear that I'll be disappointed. For the other, I fear that God won't come through, and that naysayers will use it as an opportunity to shake their heads victoriously and say 'see, I told you it wasn't real'. But really, what do I have to lose? So I'm working on it. Slowly working on it. But my heart is stubborn and I'm a skeptic at my core, so it's a challenge. I thank every one of you who believes --whole-heartedly-- in the veracity of those words.
I leave you with another
video clip-- click to view. This one was taken yesterday. Logan was up and about and playing for the first time in over a month. His walk is a little funny and his hearing is bad, but it's such a joy to see him embracing life again.Thank you, thank you for continuing to pray and continuing to believe when I struggle to do so. I probably should've noted this sooner, but his MRI is scheduled for 6/16. Please pray for amazing results and a clear scan. Please.
What a sweet, beautiful, smart boy you have, Sherry. Julia and I watched the video and Julia told me that she wants to come visit Logan some day. She said she would give him a hug and tell him that she prays for him every day. She also thought it was very cool because his favorite color is blue, just like hers. :)
ReplyDeleteI will pray for an amazing scan, and I will pass the request on to the prayer warriors at my church. ((hugs))
Praying for a clear scan!!!
ReplyDeleteDerek, ZZ and I just watched the video. They were very upset that God hasn't given Logan his hair back yet (yes, that was the first thing they blurted out). So we talked about that for a while and how the medicine that Logan has to have takes the hair away, not God. But that we continue to ask God to heal Logan's whole body and then after that help his hair to grow back :)
It's good to be able to "see" Logan and see him up and around playing. I know that this sight must be so dear to your heart right now, after so much time having to be cooped up in bed.
Praying our hearts out for a phenomenal scan, Sherry.
Hugs.
He is a darling little boy. We are praying for all of you!
ReplyDeleteSo great to see his enthusiasm as he counted to ten! Also, loved all his vacuuming...you have trained him well!
ReplyDeletePraying for a clear scan on the 16th!!!
Sherry, I watched the video :) I also wanted to share the Message version of Mark 11:22 - it's one of my favs, "Embrace this God-life. Really embrace it, and nothing will be too much for you. This mountain, for instance: Just say, 'Go jump in the lake'—no shuffling or shilly-shallying—and it's as good as done."
ReplyDeleteWe continue to pray for you, Logan and your family as we ask God to "Move the Mountain!" and makeover this valley in your lives. Nothing is too extreme for God.
Much love, Michele Starkey