It's been a full week, with school, dance, speech therapy, errands and other sundries working to keep me firing on all cylinders. It's also been a brutally hot week here, which has, of course, served to make me even more tired --and unmotivated-- than I'd otherwise be given the time of year. Truth be told, I'm generally energized by Fall. I love the beautiful foliage (well, not that we have much of it in Northern CA, but I remember the yellows and oranges and reds that colored my Mid Atlantic childhood quite fondly). I love the holidays. I love the cooler weather. I love the Pumpkin Spice Lattes from Starbucks. :) And I'm holding this Fall even closer to my heart, if only because my family spent so much of the last one apart. But that's all just a really long digression that serves to show how scattered my thinking can be at times.
I suppose I'd say that Logan is doing somewhere between 'okay' and 'well'. I know that when I last wrote, I expressed reservations over the opthamologist who was to see Logan on Wednesday. As it turned out, I mentioned my feelings to Philippa on Monday, and without my asking she lickety-split took my words to heart and rescheduled him to see a different doctor next month. So he'll have his eye exam on October 18th.
In other health-related news, his limp got progressively worse over the weekend, so the team started him on 2 mg of decadron 3 times a day for the next few weeks. I wasn't happy to hear it, since decadron is a steroid and previous experience earlier this year confirmed to us --unequivocably-- that 'roid rage is very, very real. But we're dealing. He's definitely suffering from wide mood swings, but he's bearable. And I think it's important for me to use the word 'suffering' because I need to be mindful of the fact that he doesn't enjoy his uncontrollable feelings, either. He IS suffering. It's true that I have to cope with the side effects of his mood swings by myself for 12 hours a day, but the experience is still worse for my Logan than it is for me.
Tomorrow he has his clinic visit, where we'll see a host of doctors and other specialists. The one person we won't see is Philippa since she'll be filling in for striking nurses at CHO; I'll save my breath and commentary on that.
Otherwise, he made it to preschool two out of three days so far this week. Yesterday he flat-out refused to go and I was too worn out to fight him on it. But today, he was as happy as a clam when I picked him up. He and his teacher did their cute little parting routine, which involves Logan chanting "see you later, alligator" and her responding with the requisite "after while, crocodile", her voice dripping with an equal degree of spunky sass. It's cute. A little soundbyte of normalcy that I treasure.
There's really a lot more than I could write. I could write about how we went to a healing mass on Tuesday night and wound up with a very unexpected private audience with the priest prior to the start of the service. I could write about how the letter of the day has become an important part of Logan's routine. I could write about how I'm still standing on Mark 11, and about how I've gotten repeated confirmation that it's the way to live this life. Yep, there's a lot more I could say.
What I will do is close with prayer requests. First off, and this is a little different, but I ask all of you to seriously think about Mark 11:22 and what it means. Then I ask that you stand on it for Logan and for whatever other mountains loom in front of you. I ask you to pray for healing for my sunshine, and for peace, faith, hope, belief, courage, wisdom and love for all of us. In terms of specifics, I ask that you pray for an increase in his appetite. Despite being on the appetite stimulant as well as decadron (which is an appetite stimulant, too), he still isn't eating much. Also please pray for his bone marrow to be re-energized. His platelet count sat at 75K on Monday, which is as low as it can be for him to continue to receive one of his oral chemo drugs. Please pray for good numbers and for resilient marrow. Please pray for his limp and for its root cause; pray that it will resolve itself completely. He's a dancer at heart. It's hard for him to be sidelined. It breaks my heart all over again.
Thank you so much for showing up and for being a part of Logan's team. God Bless you all.