About Us

Our family of 6 (dad Adam, mom Sherry, big sister Abby and little brothers Isaac and Brady -- who was born on December 14, 2010) joined the ranks of pediatric cancer fighters when our 4-year old son Logan was diagnosed with a dangerous and highly malignant form of brain cancer in mid-August 2010. Logan's cancer journey began abruptly on Sunday, August 15, when his right eye suddenly turned inward during dinner. Twenty-four hours later, we were checking into Children's Hospital Oakland and finding out that life sometimes takes you places you'd never, ever imagine yourself going.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

In the Silence

I've been quiet. I've spent a lot of time holding my tongue, mostly because it does no good to annoy people who can't possibly understand how it feels to be, well, me. I guess that sounds a little self-involved, but that's me right now: utterly self-involved. I think it'd be impossible for me to be just about any other way. So I have to be okay with it. And by extension, so do others. Maybe that's not fair. I don't know.

I went by Logan's preschool class graduation a few weeks ago. It was incredibly difficult. I can usually stifle emotion, but as I sat outside waiting for the ceremony to begin, I couldn't contain the overwhelming sadness. And once I went inside, I couldn't help feeling like I was raining on someone else's parade; the special day of kids who lived long enough to officially graduate from preschool and enter kindergarten. I've heard a lot of friends lamenting the end of their children's final days in preschool lately, but I can tell you this: it's such an unadulterated blessing to get to watch your kids finish a year of school. And it rips my heart out to hear and see those complaints. Sorry, but it's true. It's hurtful, though I fully acknowledge that no one probably thinks that the words are hurtful. And all in all, I guess that's okay. It has to be. My pain and loss are at the forefront of my own mind, but I know it's not fair to expect anyone else to be thinking about them. Especially not in the face of what are major life events for them. Major life events that I'll never have with my Logan. But anyway.

I just wanted to check in for a moment since it's been a while. Abby's last day of school is tomorrow, so the summer is upon us. I just need to figure out, eventually, how I feel about that.


  1. I'm so glad you checked in Sherry. Always good to read your words.
    You are right, it is an absolute Blessing when our children reach those milestones. I hope that from reading your experience people will come to understand that a little better. I can concur with those feelings though. When I hear people complain about getting older - turning 40 specifically- I just want to scream. My sister died at 38 and what she wouldn't have given to be around to celebrate her 40th and see her son graduate from high school. Unfortunately, it typically takes a tragedy for most people to figure that out.
    Love and hugs to you always....

  2. Thanks for your update. We will keep praying for your family.