And thus far, Abby and Brady have been hit. The rest of us are hanging in, but it's been a dicey week. I've been to the pediatricians office a whopping 4 times over the past 9 days, once for Abby (strep), twice for Brady (ear infection and an ear check brought on by a bad reaction to his antibiotic) and once for Logan (ear check). And I could well be taking Abby in yet again tomorrow, as she spiked a fever of 102 this afternoon after church and then threw up a few hours later. And I know Brady still isn't feeling well. Though his ear check showed that his infection had cleared up as of yesterday, he's been out of it for the past few days --tired, clingy, cranky, sleeping very poorly.
So anyway, please pray for our collective health and healing and for protection from the ailments that are floating about in our environment. Pray particularly for good quality naps for Brady, who's been getting by on a single 20 minute nap per day for the past week or so, and for a wall of protection around us. Thank you.
Onto Mr. Logan. He had a good week, all in all. Today was probably the most cheerful one he's had in a very long time. He went to Sunday School and for the most part, avoided fighting with his siblings. While Adam tried to get Brady to nap this afternoon, he created his own matching game, which we played later in the day. And he's eaten reasonably well, too, which is huge since the team decided that he'd have his last TPN (overnight IV nutrition bag) on Friday night. We have to carefully monitor what he eats and his nutrients need to keep themselves regulated, but it's another step toward having his chemo port removed. So please pray that his weight will remain stable, his nutrient and mineral levels will stay where they need to be and that his appetite will stay healthy.
In other news, I had my first co-op day in his preschool class on Friday morning. I can't think of the perfect term to describe it, so I'll go with a collection of them instead: Eye-opening, reassuring, and honestly, emotionally challenging. He spent most of his time sitting by himself working on creating tiny, colorful flowers, which he painstakingly drew and then cut out. He didn't interact much with the other kids, though he was never mean or unkind; really just a little withdrawn. It hurt a little to see him hanging back from the others. It's fine to be shy, of course; I was shy when I was his age and I'm not in the camp that thinks there's something wrong with someone who doesn't want to be part of the group. But I know how he was; I know how social and smiley and giggly he used to be. So it was a little painful to see how the past year had changed him.
And it was hard for another reason that took me by surprise. It was hard to be there surrounded by healthy kids his age. It was hard to see them running and climbing and jumping and laughing and being social. It grieved my soul when I realized just how much cancer has taken away from my son. I was envious of the beautiful heads of hair, the shining eyes, the cheeks that haven't been inflated and distorted by the effects of steroids. It all just seemed so unfair as the observations washed over me.
But then I realized that not a single one of those kids gave Logan even a second glance. And why would they? He is, after all, just one of them. And I was grateful for their sweet naivete.
So yeah, it was something of a mixed bag of an experience. He really liked having me there; he said the dinner prayer Friday night and thanked God that mommy had come to preschool with him. Always grateful for those moments, even when they're accompanied by twinges of discomfort or pain, if only because I'm living them and not merely longing for them as I was doing 365 days ago.
Once again, I've dumped a rather disjointed entry here, but I hope the essence of what I'm saying is clear enough. Thank you for being a part of Logan's team. Have a blessed week. Mark 11:22!