About Us

Our family of 6 (dad Adam, mom Sherry, big sister Abby and little brothers Isaac and Brady -- who was born on December 14, 2010) joined the ranks of pediatric cancer fighters when our 4-year old son Logan was diagnosed with a dangerous and highly malignant form of brain cancer in mid-August 2010. Logan's cancer journey began abruptly on Sunday, August 15, when his right eye suddenly turned inward during dinner. Twenty-four hours later, we were checking into Children's Hospital Oakland and finding out that life sometimes takes you places you'd never, ever imagine yourself going.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

How to Break My Heart

I probably shouldn't provide such a detailed instruction manual for this kind of thing, but it's relevant, and if it saves someone else from some heartache in the future, well, it's worth the risk.

We had a pretty nice day: Our annual pilgrimage to Half Moon Bay to Pastorino's Pumpkin Farm, then on to San Francisco to watch the Blue Angels fly from Adam's dad's office. There was an acceptable amount of fussing and complaining throughout the day, mostly from Logan. We expect it, given the heavy dose of Decadron coupled with his age.

We wound up at Sweet Tomatoes, per Logan's request, at dinner time. It was something of a stressful meal to start with; tons of people in line, lots of impatience. But eventually we settled in and ate.

Once we'd finished, Logan insisted that he was too tired to carry his cup, so Adam said fine, just leave it behind, and headed for the exit with Isaac and Brady in tow. Logan relented and picked up his own cup, crying as he left. As the guy and boy at the table behind us watched him go, they smiled. Stifled laughter, really. I could see them scrutinizing his puffy cheeks and his tearful eyes. And I got angry. I stopped just long enough to tell them that he's a cancer survivor and that they should hold their laughter until they'd walked a mile in his shoes.

They didn't really care. The boy looked shocked that I'd noticed or said anything. The dad? He blew me off by offering up a snide 'okay' and avoiding eye contact.

After I'd stormed out, the sadness set in. And my heart broke for my son for the thousandth time.

I can't impress upon you all the importance of avoiding that kind of judgment of others. You never know what someone else has been through. In that moment, I wanted SO badly to put the kid into Logan's body for just a day to show them how incredibly hard his life is; how hard it is to just be some days. But that can't happen. So I have to get over it, just like I had to do the other 999 times similar things have happened.


  1. That breaks my heart too, Sherry, just like it broke my heart to learn that when my son-in-law took my triplet grandchildren to the park a few weeks ago, an older child made fun of Austin (who had a severe brain bleed right after birth) because he can't walk. The older child repeatedly called Austin a dog because he crawls on all fours. What hurts even more is when parents see it happening and don't correct their children. Some people just don't care, and it hurts. I'll keep praying that the Lord will bring special joys into Logan's life that will overshadow these times of hurt.

  2. Logan is so lucky to have a strong mommy like you to have his back. Thank you for reminding us all to keep our judgments in check. I'm so sorry that happened but I am grateful for the reminder to be human and have compassion. Love and blessings to your little warrior.

  3. It's so good to hear you use the word "survivor." People will be assholes. It'll only make him stronger.

  4. how horribly hard Sherry....I can bet you made more of an impact of them than you realize...and we all need to be reminded of this from time to time!