Just... here.

Lately, whenever someone stops to ask me how we're doing, I pause before I respond.

Just... here.

Not because I don't want to share --I wouldn't writing right now if that were the case-- but because just as it's hard for you to know what to say to me, it's hard for me to know what to say at times, too.

Logan's MRI was yesterday. We'll likely hear back on it sometime Monday. Obviously, our prayer is that it will show significant reduction in the tumors and NO regrowth, but we also know that even a stable read would likely be okay, as the visible effects of radiation can take a while to show up.

Next week, he has a slew of pre-transplant cycle appointments, including a kidney function test at Stanford, an audiology check and an EKG at CHO, and a run-of-the-mill dental appointment that will likely show that he needs some fillings.

The doc decreased his decadron dose to half, so he's been much sweeter than before. He hugged my legs, looked up at me with his enormous blue eyes, grinned and said I love you more times yesterday that he had in months. It was like ointment to the sore, soft place in my heart that cracks open, bleeds and then eventually heals following every setback. I've missed my sweetie, so even though I have to be careful to not get too close --since I now have conjunctivitis, if you believe it-- I've enjoyed the sweet, fleeting cuddles and the return of that precious voice that melts many a heart.

As for prayer requests, there are plenty. First, and above all, please pray for complete healing for my Logan. Pray that God will crush any remains cancer cells and blow them from Logan's body like dust in the wind, and then seal him up tightly so they'll never, ever be able to return. Pray that the MRI will give good news and reason to be hopeful. Pray that the tests will all go well next week; that his heart and kidney function will be normal and that he'll be officially cleared to move on to the next step. Please pray for wisdom for us as well as the medical team. Finally, please pray for health for the rest of our family. I've been absolutely hammered by illness over the past month, and need to be well if I'm going to be helpful.

Thank you and a very pleasant weekend to you as we approach Easter.