156 weeks

It's raining today.

It was raining 156 weeks ago, too.

There's something about this particular Saturday that needs to be rainy and gloomy and overcast.

I'm betting most people can't name their least favorite Saturday of the entire year, but I can. It's today.

It's a reminder that the date is drawing near; that in short time, the flashbacks that I work hard to push to the back of my mind most days will force their way out and wash over me, throwing me to the ground over and over again like the fiercest waves the ocean can muster.

It's hard. I can't sugar coat it. I'm dreading Wednesday. But I know that Thursday will follow, and the sun will come out again, and the waves will abate.

This time of year just sucks. There's no way to sugar coat it because there's not enough sugar in the world to sweeten this particular brand of bitter.

But I'm thankful that this isn't our final destination and that one day, we'll all be truly whole. Until then, this particular Saturday will come and go, and my heart will re-break and mend a bit each time it does.