'Cars' and Such

The Little Boys got up early this morning and rather than honoring Brady's request to watch "Paw Patrol," I turned on "Cars." I was planning to head back to bed to catch a few more zs, but I didn't. I was drawn into that big opening race scene... the music, the bright colors, the flashing lights, the Elvis car grunting "uh" at just the right moment. All of it.

I can remember Logan watching this movie. I can remember how he identified with those "cars with faces," as he called them; how he'd wiggle his bum with the music, bring the sass with his bottom lip, and then explode into a fit of giggles.

This movie was such a huge part of his life and who he was while he was here on this earth that it's as if it's an inextricable part of him; actually, it's almost like the movie is a part of him, and he is a part of the movie.

So when I watch it, it's almost like I'm seeing him again. Of course, I know I'm not. I know I'm just drawing on the past --squeezing my eyes shut and holding on to those memories for as long as I can-- but it's what I have. So I treasure it, even if as I watch, the tears come early and often.