About Us

Our family of 6 (dad Adam, mom Sherry, big sister Abby and little brothers Isaac and Brady -- who was born on December 14, 2010) joined the ranks of pediatric cancer fighters when our 4-year old son Logan was diagnosed with a dangerous and highly malignant form of brain cancer in mid-August 2010. Logan's cancer journey began abruptly on Sunday, August 15, when his right eye suddenly turned inward during dinner. Twenty-four hours later, we were checking into Children's Hospital Oakland and finding out that life sometimes takes you places you'd never, ever imagine yourself going.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Fifty-Two Weeks

Fifty-two weeks ago, my life was forever changed. In a way, it's a mercy that 2012 was a leap year, since it means we have an extra day to reflect --and prepare-- before the 11th arrives. THE date.

But today... it all happened 52 weeks ago today. A Saturday.

It's only late-morning, but my day has already been punctuated by fleeting flashbacks that shadowed my actions. Waking up tired... the drive to dance class... the quick trip through the McDonalds drive-thru on the way home... all of it.

Only now, of course, despite engaging in some of the same activities, things are... different. Instead of being at CHO, helplessly watching as Logan drifted off toward Heaven and the reward that awaited him there, I'm sitting in my family room. Writing. And the McDonalds bag isn't in the passenger side floor of my car, contents uneaten and getting colder by the second. No. They've been consumed and the trash stowed away in the bin. And in place of the rain-saturated clouds that loomed overhead 52 weeks ago are clear, beautifully blue skies. No tears in today's sky. No clouds to hold them in -- or let them fall.

I'm remembering just a fraction of how it felt to say good-bye... or maybe just see you later... I always have to remind myself that it was see you later and not good-bye... because I can't open the flood gates... yet. After all, there are still two more days. But the memories still come like little leaks in a dam. I could just jam my fingers into the holes, but there wouldn't be much of a point, would there?

And so the day continues.

1 comment:

  1. Hi is so loved and this is a very hard time. I sometimes wonder if the time preparing to say see you later is harder or if now is harder. I miss my two angels also. It is easier now has ben 5 years since Amber went to her heavenly home and 6 for Josh. but I still miss them.
    Logan knows that you love and miss him. (((HUGS))) and prayers for comfort.