A Melody

As the big anniversary approaches, I find myself drawn to a song by Brad Paisley. It speaks to me, touches my core, in a way that I can't really explain.

When I get where I'm going,
On the far side of the sky,
The first thing I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly...

I can imagine Logan smiling. Laughing. Flying. Blissfully removed from the pains that plagued him on earth. Free to be the amazing kid he was created to be.

But does he remember me? Does he miss me? Will he know me when we're together again?

I mull those questions a lot. Of course I do. I carried him under my heart for nine months and in my arms for 5 1/2 years. He'll be a part of my soul forever.

Though I can't really answer my own questions, I do believe this to be true...

But when I get where I'm goin,
And I see my maker's face,
I'll stand forever in the light,
Of his amazing Grace.

And that's what matters, isn't it? Above and beyond all the pain and suffering and disappointment and discouragement of this world.

He's there. Standing in the light. And some day, there will be a reunion. And a party, when I get where I'm going. And I live for that, but for now, I live here.

And the intermingling of the blessings that I can see here and the promise of what's to come has to be enough.

And most of the time, it is.