About Us

Our family of 6 (dad Adam, mom Sherry, big sister Abby and little brothers Isaac and Brady -- who was born on December 14, 2010) joined the ranks of pediatric cancer fighters when our 4-year old son Logan was diagnosed with a dangerous and highly malignant form of brain cancer in mid-August 2010. Logan's cancer journey began abruptly on Sunday, August 15, when his right eye suddenly turned inward during dinner. Twenty-four hours later, we were checking into Children's Hospital Oakland and finding out that life sometimes takes you places you'd never, ever imagine yourself going.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

The Weight

A few weeks ago, Abby and I started taking walks together after dinner, while Adam puts the Little Boys to bed. We had a particularly poignant exchange a few days back that's really stayed with me.

As we strolled through the park, I asked her why she's mean to Isaac and Brady. Why she excludes them. Why she'll be nice one moment and then horribly unkind the next.

She released a great sigh. I thought she was going to say something snotty or dramatic; I thought she would, for the upteenth time, accuse me of loving her less than the others, or even worse, of not loving her at all.

But she didn't. And what did come out of her mouth shocked me.

With a sad sort of reticence in her eyes, she looked up at me, swatted a hair out of her eyes, and said I included Logan. I loved Logan. And he died..

The words were like a slap to the face. She's scared that if she loves them like she loved Logan, they'll leave her.

I wasn't sure what to say. I cleared my throat, but my 36 years on this planet haven't given me the right words to respond. So instead, I told her to never fear loving someone else. I told her to love as well as she could; to embrace others for who they are and to look for shades of God in everyone she meets.

And then we got home and she went up to bed and I sat alone in the dark, ruminating over how unfair it is that my 9-year old has to shoulder such an impossibly heavy burden.


  1. That is just heartbreakingly sweet and sad.

  2. This breaks my heart, Sherry, but I know that God's grace will help her through that part of her grief. She will, no doubt, continue to be a very compassionate girl and young woman that reaches out to others when they are hurting.

  3. Looking on the bright side of the situation - had you never asked, she may not have ever confided that answer in you. At least now you can help her with the weight she must be feeling. Sending you much love... (Deborah Dera)